2007 looks set to be an action packed year, full of changes and - no doubt - a few plot twists along the way. I think it’s going to be one of those years where I need to buckle up tight and strap on the helmet.
*~*~*
On the HIV front, my virus and I will be commemorating ten years together and we just might toast it with a cocktail. Last year saw my CD4s show a definite trend – my first ever. (Jan, 787, 32%; April, 628, 29%; July, 550, 26%; Oct, 447, 26% - VL at or below 18,400 through the year)
Many of you probably see where this is headed… to the corner of Time2Start Boulevard and WhatCombo Drive. I’ve been cruising down NoMeds Parkway for quite a while now and knew my exit would come up sooner or later. I’m waiting for the next bit of map – the labs I had done the other day. It’s a Magical Mystery Tour and each bit of lab work is a clue to the journey’s next leg.
The Wizard and I haven’t talked first line combos since 2001, so I figured it was time to ask for an update. These days he’s using Kivexa or Truvada with Sustiva. Atripla isn’t approved here yet. We agree that only my labs will tell, but I probably have a 50/50 chance of my numbers bouncing up again. And yes, it also means I may be on meds before the year is out. The doc ordered an HLA (abacavir sensitivity test) and my yearly HCV viral load along with all the standards - I’ll have my results on February 27th.
I feel very calm and accepting about this. I first noticed the trend with July’s results and I, well, I didn’t exactly panic, but I did become anxious for about a week before I got it back into perspective. When the trend continued in October I was disappointed but not dispirited. It wasn’t resignation, it was acceptance. I’ve always dreaded the meds, not because of the side-effects, but because I don’t have a good track record for remembering meds. I’m frightened of ending up resistant. I’m lucky - I’ve lasted med-free into the era of once-a-day dosing and for that reason I know I can do this now, if need be. I can manage to remember once a day.
Either way, I know I’ve got at least six more med free months, very possibly more. If my CD4 is above 300, I’ll wait the standard three months to check again. If it’s below 300, I’ll ask to be checked again that day (Feb 27) as it will be six weeks from my last draw - and we’ll take it from there. I want at least two results well under 300 before I start. In the meantime, I can learn more about the drugs. I know the basics, but haven’t really put any of them under the microscope – yet. Yeah, bring it on!
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On the home front, I was evicted from my flat today. So far it’s informal, on orders of the Fire Department, but it will be formal as soon as the fire regs violations paperwork hits a desk or two on Monday. I’ve been on the local housing authority’s waiting list for eight years and this eviction – by the same local housing authority – means I will be moving, next week, to a house. I finally have enough points with the immediate threat of eviction to get a house. The fire officer initially wanted me out tonight and I’m only permitted to stay in my flat for the next few days on the promise I sleep in my daughter’s room. (Girl Scout’s promise!)
I found out at five this evening, with two fire officers, four local authority employees, my partner (not live-in) and I all squeezed into my tiny living room. What a few years of doctor’s letters supporting my housing application couldn’t do, a fire officer and his clip-board did in minutes. For the record, I didn’t have anything to do with getting the fire officers involved - but I won’t tell you that particular gem of a story as I do not wish to embarrass the hand that holds the house keys.
I’m not sure what house they’ll allocate to me – the local authority guys were frantically trying to figure out where from the available stock they could re-house me at such short notice. Ah well, no matter where I end up, I will have central heating! For the first time in sixteen years! Crank up the heat and par-tay! No more washing mould and mildew off the bedroom walls! No more freezing in the bathroom! I’m going to have a real kitchen instead of a closet! I’ll be able to cook!
Yahoo! Whippee! Yay!
OMG I’ve got 1000 or so books to move. Oh. Dear. Hmmm…
I hate moving at the best of times and doing it at a few day’s notice is going to be… ~sigh~ It’s going to be interesting. Challenging. An interesting challenge… It’s gonna be one tough week. I’ll feel a lot better when I know where I’m going, but I probably won’t know until Monday at the earliest. In the mean time I’ll get packing and start reminding myself to keep an eye on the big picture. The upheaval will be worth it in the end.
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On the personal front, I have another big change coming my way later on this year when my daughter goes abroad to study at the University of California, Long Beach. I’m really going to miss her. I think I’ll stay buckled in for that adventure too.
Ann,
Sorry to hear of the downward trend with your numbers. I am, however, happy with the positive outlook you have about the meds. If this scaredy cat(me) could pull it off, I know you can.
Well if an eviction could ever be considered positive I guess this is it. I hope it all goes as smooth as possible.
If your daughter has half the strength, courage, and determination you have she will definitely do well at the University of California. While I know you will miss her I know she will do her mama proud, although I am sure she already has.
Ann, your calm attitude has extinguished a burning fire inside me at times and for that I am in debt to you. Please keep being you and doing what you do, because you are appreciated.
Thomas
You numbers still aren't too bad, kiddo, although I wish that damn trend would show one CD4 count above the previous. I always preferred my CD4s to go down and up and up and down ad nauseum until my stroll down Meds Ave. began.
I don't envy you over the short-term but am bilious with envy you're moving into a new house! I'm sure the fire marshall would condemn my house but I still have 24 years left on the mortgage... Good luck with the move and remember to tape the bottoms of the book boxes. And your LP collection.
Take care!
Rob
Ann, congradulations. I knew you needed a better place when you told me how you heated it. I've always hated moving and I even worse I hate to unpack. Wishing you all the best on your move and hurry up and get you ass back online.
Rodney
Well, it all sounds good to me. Maybe you can get a few of those hunky firemen to help you move. After all, it's their idea, right? And they want you out NOW!~!~~!!.
Glad you daughter decided on Long Beach. She'll have a great time. Possible culture shock, though. She had better ease her way down that road.
And don't worry about the numbers yet. I bet they don't go any lower. It sounds like all the signs came together (t-cells, VL, fireman, daughter, partner, housing authority) to get you to move and now that you're doing it, things will go back to normal (well, nearly normal)
robert in redbluff
Good luck and Godspeed to a new abode. I can say I truly understand.
PS: Congrats on your daughters selection of Long Beach. She'll love California.
Glad you see the silver linings! Your body did you good for many years honey - Maybe atripla not being ok'ed there is a blessing - Y'know me, always saying everything happens for a reason. I send you well-wishes for a smooth move Ann and yay to having a new place with a kitchen... 3 cheers for new adventures and new culinary delights ;)
Good luck, y bendiciones a tu hija I wish that the new house will met your deepest expectations. Your numbers will sustain your dreams.
God bless you
(from Puerto Rico)
To all who have responded so far,
Thanks for the pep talk. Sorry I didn't reply earlier but I'm still getting used to having replies under the blogs. I can be slow like that sometimes.
Thomas, I'll pass your comments along to my daughter. She's currently in a lull between courses - the semesters run a little differently over here. I gotta hand it to her, she's got balancing a full social life and her studies down to a fine art. She's having plenty of fun and getting good grades too. What more could a doting mother ask for? She has worked hard and deserves her year in the sun.
I got her hopes us yesterday about the house, but I've left her in blissful ignorance about what happened today (see my next blog). I'm saying no more about houses to her until I've got a lease and a set of keys in my hot little hand.
Hi Rob, I'm hoping the stress-monster isn't eating up my CD4s like M&Ms. I'm hoping to find out tomorrow what my last draw turned up. Finger's crossed they've shot back up and that would be one less thing I have to worry about for now. Normally I wait the six weeks before getting my results, but under the circumstances I try for them over the phone. And LOL... I'll make sure the boxes are well taped. The less stress in my life right now, the better, and a busted-open moving box is a real hair-puller-outer.
Rodney... I'm missing being online too - but my mind is of a consistency resembling day-old oatmeal porridge at the moment. Once I've got some stability back under me, I'll be posting again. I'll have a lot of catching up to do!
hehehehe... Robert. Leave it to you to think of off-label uses for firemen. I think the guys from the housing authority's works yard may be helping with some of the move - the big stuff at least and hopefully some books too. Now if I only knew where I was moving too....
I'm sure my daughter will LOVE California. The culture shock should be minimal - after all her mum's a Yank! The main cultural shock will be the alcohol age restrictions. She's been going to the pubs since she was only 16. They turn a blind eye to it around here (legal age is 18), as long as they behave and don't get off their heads. As a result, she's learned to drink responsibly. She'll turn 21 in her second semester over there though, so she'll be happy about that and is already trying to organise her Rock mates to meet up over there for a combined 21st bash. She may be in SF around Christmas, maybe she could meet you for coffee in Red Bluff.
Hey Dingo darlin, good to hear from you. I'm looking forward to an update on your own move. House moving is way up in the top five major life stresses and I think we will both deserve a break after we're moved in.
Alex sweetie, wish for a smooth transition a little harder mate! Please! It's not going so well at the moment - you'll have to read my latest entry to understand why. Thanks for the energy you've been sending though, it really does help. I think I would have been a basket case (well, would have been one sooner) if it weren't for all the support I've relieved here.
Thank you for reading Dr. Jose. I don't know who you are, but thank you all the same for your good wishes and kind words. Much appreciated.
Hugs,
Ann
xxx