Living Through Discrimination and Standing Up For Yourself
Initiating the process to report discrimination is the easy part (filling out the forms and sending them in). What is not so easy is living through the discrimination and other events that prompt someone to report it. Not only is discrimination itself a horrible experience, but gathering the courage to engage those who committed the discrimination in a mediation or court room setting is equally, if not more, intimidating.
I started with a company working as a technical support person. Like anyone else, starting a new job is exciting and I was happy and excited to be working there. Unfortunately, the side effects of my medications made me sick because of how my body reacts to the medications. So, I requested an accommodation to work from home only on days that my medications made me sick. You would think this is something that would have been no problem and that my employer would have been compassionate and granted this simple and reasonable request because my employer allowed employees work from home full time. Unfortunately, this simple request turned into a nightmare that almost cost me my life.
My request was initially denied and my manager would not engage in the interactive process to come to a compromise that would make everyone happy. (An employer does not have to grant everything you request with regard to an accommodation, but they do have to try to work with you.) In fact, not only was the request denied, but I was told, 'I do not care what disability you have, if you cannot do the job you are gone,' even though that I could perform my job with this reasonable accommodation.
This one statement created a hostile and abnormal working environment. Until I worked up the nerve to file a complaint with the EEOC, I was subjected to terrible harassment. In getting to know my co-workers, I mentioned that Christmas was one of my favorite holidays. These employees thought that it would be funny to leave wrapped, but empty, boxes on my desk chair, if I was lucky, they would include an old used trapper keeper inside the box. Other co-workers would make comments like, 'Why don't you take ANOTHER day off.' and my manager stated, 'People with HIV are disgusting.' Another employee went so far as to walk over to my desk and cocked his arm and was going to punch me. I reported all of these incidents to HR, but I was told, 'You are being too sensitive.'
Finally, the stress had gotten so bad that, combined with the other side effects of my medication and depression, I contracted pneumonia and suffered a pulmonary embolism, which left me hospitalized for a week and out of work for nearly a month. During this time, my manager repeatedly called me to ask when I was returning to work. If the harassment was not enough, my performance reviews were being falsified by my manager in an attempt to fire me. Fortunately, I was documenting everything at this point and was able to refute all of the false items on my performance reviews.
Finally, my family and I had had enough, I reported my employer to the EEOC. I remember the fear I felt as I stood at the mailbox at the corner up the street from my house. I was afraid that the harassment would get worse, that a co-worker would harm me, and that my manager or my employer would retaliate in some other way for having the courage to report them to the EEOC. Then I thought, what could possibly be worse than what has happened to me so far? With that came the courage to move my hand that last inch and drop the envelope into the mailbox.
What got me through discrimination? My family, my case manager, and AIDS organizations that I donate my time to. I know that without them, I would not have survived this experience and that they helped me become a stronger person by helping me through it. In the 3rd and final installment of 'On Pins and Needles,' I'll describe what I felt as I went through the EEOC process.
Initiating the process to report discrimination is the easy part (filling out the forms and sending them in). What is not so easy is living through the discrimination and other events that prompt someone to report it. Not only is discrimination itself a horrible experience, but gathering the courage to engage those who committed the discrimination in a mediation or court room setting is equally, if not more, intimidating.
I started with a company working as a technical support person. Like anyone else, starting a new job is exciting and I was happy and excited to be working there. Unfortunately, the side effects of my medications made me sick because of how my body reacts to the medications. So, I requested an accommodation to work from home only on days that my medications made me sick. You would think this is something that would have been no problem and that my employer would have been compassionate and granted this simple and reasonable request because my employer allowed employees work from home full time. Unfortunately, this simple request turned into a nightmare that almost cost me my life.
My request was initially denied and my manager would not engage in the interactive process to come to a compromise that would make everyone happy. (An employer does not have to grant everything you request with regard to an accommodation, but they do have to try to work with you.) In fact, not only was the request denied, but I was told, 'I do not care what disability you have, if you cannot do the job you are gone,' even though that I could perform my job with this reasonable accommodation.
This one statement created a hostile and abnormal working environment. Until I worked up the nerve to file a complaint with the EEOC, I was subjected to terrible harassment. In getting to know my co-workers, I mentioned that Christmas was one of my favorite holidays. These employees thought that it would be funny to leave wrapped, but empty, boxes on my desk chair, if I was lucky, they would include an old used trapper keeper inside the box. Other co-workers would make comments like, 'Why don't you take ANOTHER day off.' and my manager stated, 'People with HIV are disgusting.' Another employee went so far as to walk over to my desk and cocked his arm and was going to punch me. I reported all of these incidents to HR, but I was told, 'You are being too sensitive.'
Finally, the stress had gotten so bad that, combined with the other side effects of my medication and depression, I contracted pneumonia and suffered a pulmonary embolism, which left me hospitalized for a week and out of work for nearly a month. During this time, my manager repeatedly called me to ask when I was returning to work. If the harassment was not enough, my performance reviews were being falsified by my manager in an attempt to fire me. Fortunately, I was documenting everything at this point and was able to refute all of the false items on my performance reviews.
Finally, my family and I had had enough, I reported my employer to the EEOC. I remember the fear I felt as I stood at the mailbox at the corner up the street from my house. I was afraid that the harassment would get worse, that a co-worker would harm me, and that my manager or my employer would retaliate in some other way for having the courage to report them to the EEOC. Then I thought, what could possibly be worse than what has happened to me so far? With that came the courage to move my hand that last inch and drop the envelope into the mailbox.
What got me through discrimination? My family, my case manager, and AIDS organizations that I donate my time to. I know that without them, I would not have survived this experience and that they helped me become a stronger person by helping me through it. In the 3rd and final installment of 'On Pins and Needles,' I'll describe what I felt as I went through the EEOC process.
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