Subscribe to this blog's feedI never imagined that I would someday say this, but living with HIV is as much of a gift as it is a curse.
We all know why HIV is a curse - the fact of the matter is that it just plain sucks having to worry about whether every unusual ache, pain, cough or cold is a symptom or a sign that we are in decline or whether that immeasurably small cut on our index finger may invite some exotic infection that cannot be cured. We worry about who will pay for the cost of our care, and whether the care that we will someday need will be there for us at all. We worry about those we love, and when and how we should tell them that we are infected with a pathogen like no other in human history.
But there IS an upside to living with HIV. Those same worries, those same fears of discrimination and the stigmatization that can be so emotionally paralyzing, allow us to understand the true nature of life: that in the grand scheme of things, we are all little more than parasites on a dust mote, as likely to be wiped off the scrim of existence by some intergalactic squeegee man as we are to endure as part of a greater god. And when we consider that fact, when we tune out the worries and fears of daily life and tune into the wondrous imperfection of the world around us, it brings us closer to understanding that happiness is never measurable by the steel and stone monuments we may leave behind or whatever wealth we may have accumulated, but only by our own memories while we are alive to enjoy them.
This Friday, the 4th of July, will mark the 232nd anniversary of the day that we Americans declared our independence from a foreign nation that was then our common oppressor but is now our nation's greatest ally. But just as we declared our political independence so many years ago, let us all declare our independence from the oppression and unhappiness that those of us who live with HIV still endure today, and from our common viral enemy.
Comments (2)
"let us all declare our independence from the oppression and unhappiness that those of us who live with HIV still endure today, and from our common viral enemy."
Today, my daughter brought home all sorts of information from summer school about Independence Day, Declaration of Independence, Francis Scott Key and the words to the Star-Spangled Banner. She asked me to read all of the pages to her, which I did. And, then I sang the national anthem (I must concede she giggled slightly as I sought the high notes, but was a good listener despite).
I explained that some day we would go to Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell. She soon asked how could we go on Sunday and still have her back in school on Monday. No, honey, I said some day, not Sunday (she's working so admirably hard on English).
Her lovely, loving presence is a sweet but strong symbol of seeking as much independence as I can (and as she and I can) from any, viral or non-viral, oppression and unhappiness. I look forward to our "common viral enemy" being understood more completely by doctors and dictators; contained if not defeated completely; and, that its existence will teach the collective of mankind a sustainable set of lessons that enable people to live more healthfully and fully in the future.
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...yes, indeed.So, David, when our heads are pointing skyward tomorrow night and the color, booms, crackles and the crowd's ooh's and ahh's reach the crescendo...I'll be enacting your commentary.
"... when we tune out the worries and fears of daily life and tune into the wondrous imperfection of the world around us, it brings us closer to understanding that happiness is never measurable by the steel and stone monuments we may leave behind or whatever wealth we may have accumulated, but only by our own memories while we are alive to enjoy them."
Happy Fourth, Friend.
Posted by Em | July 3, 2008 11:12 PM
Posted on July 3, 2008 23:12
Lets continues making memories, while we're alive to enjoy them.
All the best
Your friend and admierer
"chinita"
Posted by China | July 5, 2008 7:55 PM
Posted on July 5, 2008 19:55