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October 23, 2004
Acceptance
The whole concept of acceptance has been being brought up to me again and again lately. I've found that when certain themes start to show up repeatedly in my life it's time to take a closer look....and since I have this blog you get to come along for the ride.
Life situations are ever changing. I've noticed that there is so much heart break and pain when people dealing with these changes can't accept the changes in their life. They spend their time wishing things would remain the same. Approaching life situations and relationships in the same way...a way that no longer works. It causes so much mental turmoil.
The key is acceptance. That's not a roll over and give up kind of thing. It's accepting things as they are and then being able to look at the situation with new 'eyes' to build and move forward from there. We can't control all the things that happen in our lives, but we can control how we approach them.
We can choose to try and move mountains to get our life back the way it was, wearing ourselves out in the process. We can worry about it. Stress about it. Make ourselves sick over it...OR we can learn to accept the changes that come and see them as an opportunity for growth, for expansion, for better things.
I know a woman struggling with this very issue. Her husband has Alzheimer's and is in assisted living. She now has to deal with everything from the mundane....where and what is the fuse box...to coming to terms with the fact that her life is forever changed. Their relationship was stable and one she could count on, but now the rules have changed. She's having to come to terms with the fact that the 'we' she's had for over 60 years is no longer the same. She fights against this. That's a natural reaction. She takes him swimming and walking. Makes sure he has all the medications he needs. All the while hoping that someday he will be better. Logically she knows this isn't the case, but she holds that wish close to her heart.
But it's not helping her. The old patterns of behavior don't work anymore, but she's not quite ready to accept the fact that things are now different. So she's stuck. Held back by denial. It's not good for her. It causes stress, anxiety, depression. She's taking baby steps however. She's thinking of going back to school. Something just for her. That's a good start.
It doesn't matter what the life change is; an illness, a death of a loved one, a lost job, a child moving out. The moment we can accept changes in our life, we have the abiltiy to come up with new solutions that work. We have the ability to take the lessons that need to be learned and apply them in our lives. Accpetance frees us to move forward.
Posted by aster1961 at October 23, 2004 07:36 AM
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