I got into an argument with my dad last week about celebrations and holidays that are specific to one group of people or race. I was surprised to hear a lot of things coming from him that sounded (to me, at least) as if he were just repeating all the arguments that were on the news or written about online. I guess what I mean is he sounded influenced - and we obviously all are, but the extent to which he was bothered me.
For instance, he was, as so many people are, upset about the idea of a Black History Month or a BET or spanish/french/whatever-speaking networks in the US, or even LOGO - a network with glbt-based subject matter. He wasn't angry because they existed, but because there were not specifically noted white, straight networks. I explained to him that as a straight, white male the majority of things on television and the majority of holidays we celebrate (at least here in the US) cater to him. Even though I'm a gay transguy, which puts me not only at the bottom of the barrel in queer circles but with even less company when I am around other trans people, I still cannot know what it is like to be a race that is a minority. I've never experienced that. I'm white - and here, most things show white characters or cater to European history. So I can't know the feeling of being isolated due to my race.
But I do know that as a gay guy, it bothers me to hardly ever see gay people portrayed in the media - or if they are, only in the light of being funny or comedic relief. It bothers me even more, as a trans person, because there are even less trans people in movies or TV or books. The days in which we celebrate who we are or the days where we honor our dead are overlooked by the VAST majority of not only this country but the world.
Due to who we are and the nature of what we must go through in order to most effectively be who we are, those of us who believe it is in their best interest to go through with medical transition must have injections, take pills, go through multiple surgeries, etc - and yet very few of these very necessary procedures and medications are covered by insurance. This isn't because of any lack of education on our part, trust me. But there is only so much we can do. We can educate you, but it's up to you to retain that information and perhaps use it as something to push off of to further educate yourself about the lives of the human beings you're sharing this planet with. It's my responsibility to make sure you're aware of us, and then it's yours to remember.
I mentioned a little while ago that I go to a glbt youth group every week (I hesitate to use the word queer, mostly because not everyone who attends is queer - trans people, by default, unless they identify as such, are not queer.) and I am lucky enough to be a part of a group of kids that (at least those that are aware of it) are very cool with me being trans. But these are kids ranging 14 to 20. They haven't really been thrust into the part of gay society that looks down upon trans people. And this definitely isn't me ragging on the gays - because I've met an astonishing amount of cisgender gay men who are very open-minded and intelligent and rational, and I appreciate them immensely. But, to suggest that all gay people are open-minded is flat-out wrong. Being gay is a good indicator of open-mindedness but it definitely isn't a rule. Some of my worst abuse has come from the hands and mouths of gay men and lesbians.
A good friend of mine me told me earlier this week that when he came out in highschool as a gay transguy, he had the suffer the taunts of the gay cisgender guys in his school constantly - telling him that he's not a real boy. Telling him that he's a freak, etc.
You just don't want to have to expect that from people within your own community - people with whom you're supposed to work side-by-side for to help everyone be treated decently.
And yet I continue to see a large amount of transphobia in the gay community - as well as sexism, racism and a whole bunch of other prejudices that are as shocking as they are damaging. As I've heard so many people ask, how can someone have experienced such terrible abuse and still turn around and do it to other people?
I suppose some of it could be fear. I actually had a run in with someone this week who told me very blatantly that he thinks that transguys are attacking gay men and forcing them to go against their very nature in being with someone that is genetically female.
As if someone my size could ever force someone to do something they didn't want to. Honestly. The guys who I've been with have been with me because they wanted to - because they find me attractive, perhaps, or because they can honestly recognize that I'm as much of a male as they are.
I'm personally tired of the accusations against trans people. If we aren't looking to gain male privilege, gain access to women-only spaces, gain HETEROSEXUAL privilege, abandoning our duty as women or men and now we're even being sneaky women and going after gay men. As if anyone would be so desperate for a boyfriend that they'd pretend to be a guy just to go after gay men. Christ.
Anyway, I guess that's my beef for the day.
Oh - and I dunno if I should post this on here, but I figure some more publicity can't hurt. I'm selling scarves/knitted/crocheted things to try and save up money for top surgery. If you're interested in anything, you can email me at: caffeinemouse@gmail.com. I can send you pictures of work I've done before if you're interested. This is apparently the only way I can make money since pretty much NO PLACE in my area is interested in hiring me. What the hell. So just email me with a description of what you want and I can tell you if I can do it and what the price will be. Scarves are going from anywhere between 10 bucks and 20 bucks usually. Everything else'll be judged off of that.
- Jase.
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