Joe's POZ Blog

It's 6 a.m. on Christmas Eve and I can't sleep because I am just too excited. The excitement is so palpable that I can almost touch it. I know part of it is because we leave for Toronto the day after Christmas, so there are all those last minute preparations that you always make before a trip. But this excitement is more than anticipation about the trip. It's not even so much about pre-wedding jitters, because I don't seem to have any of those either. No, this excitement centers on the fact that I get to leave the world of HIV behind, if only for a while.

I'm going to a world-class city; to marry the man who makes my heart smile and all I feel is the positive energy that flows through my being. I'm going to be amongst a citizenry that supports equal rights for all people and they are going to share those rights with Stephen and I. I have already made the plans for the license and the ceremony and have been treated just like any other soon-to-be newly wed couple. What a liberating feeling to be accepted for who and what I am. And there is nothing that my HIV can do to change either that acceptance or that feeling.

We are going to enjoy all that Toronto offers, including the chance to marry. We are going to affirm all that is right in our lives and to share that affirmation with the world. We will be concentrating on us and for once, the rest of our troubles will fade into the background. Yes, we will take the meds and all the elixirs for our ailments with us, but their existence will be out of necessity and nothing more. For a period of time, we will be newly-weds and revel in our love for each other. It has been a very long time since I have been able to leave my HIV behind, but this will be one of those rare times and that makes this a very special time in my life.

I'll try and post an entry about the wedding, but I make no promises, so you may just have to wait until mid-January to hear all the glorious details. Suffice it to say, that our marriage would not be as exciting without the thought of all of you attending, even if just in spirit. Your support and encouragement has been so appreciated and I wish each and everyone the happiest of holiday seasons. And on New Year's Eve, let us all offer a toast to remember those who have passed and to honor our friends, family and partners.

See you all next year... Joe