Subscribe to this blog's feedSomehow I made it. I never thought I would when I tested positive 21 years ago, but sure enough I reached the big 50 and I suppose my mid-life crisis. But I'm not sure that it is a crisis, because I don't feel any different than I did when I was still 49. I used to tell my therapist that I was concerned because I could not imagine myself at 50 and she dismissed my lament, saying that most people are not good at seeing themselves in the future. So I never paid much attention to it, but now that my 50th year is winding down, I start to wonder.
My life is nothing like what I imagined it would have been in my twenties or even thirties. In many ways it surpasses my wildest expectations while at the same time carrying many regrets and trepidation about the future. My health has changed dramatically in the past 20 years and I begin to fear how long I can continue to cheat real constant suffering and even death. While I live a relatively healthy life and exercise and eat right, sometimes these things are just not enough. I seem to be more in tune with my body and every new ache or pain causes me to question if my health will remain. And every time I contract some disease, it seems to take longer, each time, to rid myself of it.
So I did what anyone suffering a mid-life crisis should do and I bought a new truck. My SUV was 8 years old, so out with the old and in with the new, at least vehicle wise. That helped but still something was lacking, so why not bleach my hair: stark white. Yes, that seemed to do the trick. I reinvented myself with a $7 box of blonde lightener and I must admit the change is striking. I get a lot of compliments but most comments center on whether my previous salt-n-pepper hair was real or Clairol. But I don't care because I feel better about myself and often it is the little things in life that matter, even if they do come out of a bottle.
From what I have heard, my mid-life crisis is rather mild. So onward, until that seven-year-itch that's slatted for next year.