Paying It Forward

Even after just a couple of weeks, it’s amazing how depressed I really was, because not only did little get done around the house, I also forgot all the little things we do in the course of our daily lives. Reading the daily paper with my morning coffee, under the canopy by the pool (look someone has to do it) or my writing, activism, posting, blading, biking, DIY and all the other things that constitute my life. Once on the outside, it’s almost like I need a few weeks to ramp back up to my normal pace.

The farther I get from the darkness, the more I am reminded of how long that journey can take, fortunately it seems that the journey out, at least for me, is much shorter that the steady downward spiral in the beginning. So I’m reveling in these past weeks and just enjoying my life again and I certainly appreciate the warm welcome I received when I resumed posting, I just didn’t anticipate the impact of some of the replies that I received.

Many of you wrote to me of my contributions to the site and how my humble words had given you comfort, made you laugh, or challenged you to be more than you thought you could be. You reminded me of how easy it is to forget what we do and how our influence, in whatever form, can often reverberate long past our initial effort.

I can’t tell you how proud I am of many of you, who took my challenges to heart, or found a calling in some of the thoughts that I advanced or ideals that I try to uphold. You reminded me of a very special part of myself that I sometimes forget, the part where I do have the ability to influence people and policy and part of how I, and all the Bloggers do that, is just by sharing our lives.

I’m a pretty modest guy and I generally don’t like the limelight as I believe that sharing myself with others is really more to my benefit, than anyone who reads anything that I write. At times, I don’t think my life or challenges have any great significance other than to me. I just share what I know, or what I remember or experienced and sort of leave it to you to sort out what it means to you.

I like to think of myself as more of a thought gardener, if you will, tossing out thoughts as seeds in the hopes that enough of them will take root and maybe some of them would grow enough to make a difference. As of late, I had forgotten how long I’ve been doing this and after a while you just keep plodding along, often oblivious to what’s happening around you.

So let me start by thanking so many of you for reminding me of some basic truths. As I read through the replies, I am struck by how far so many of you have come and if I’ve played any part in that, then I’m very happy. As I read the replies, I see strong people who have decided to take control of their own lives and to even go beyond themselves and attempt things they never thought possible.

To think that I might have contributed to some of your successes, well pretty heady stuff indeed. So if you’d really like to show your appreciation, I have but one request: whatever passion you have developed, you’ll promise to pay that forward. And by doing that we’ll each contribute in our own special way to influencing our own little corner of the world.

Paying it forward is all the thanks that I could ever want.