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I had some energy today, and decided to write two blog entries. One dry and boring about Kaletra and maudlin stuff like dying, and racing time, whatever.
This is the other one.
My best friend is giving me two birthday presents this year. My birthday which, for those following, is Monday January 29th. And yes, I will be 41.
The first is practical. A NEW battery for my iBook! No more racing to grab the adapter after fifteen minutes of web surfing or writing. Apparently two or three years is all you get, when you use it as much as I do.
The second? Not practical, which to be fair, is the way I prefer giving and getting gifts ☺. He and I are going to see Cirque de Soleil tonight! The huge, multicolored tent has been a yearly staple of the Atlanta area for a long time now, and I have always wanted to go… but at ninety bucks a ticket? No way, no how. Except my best friend, the one who took me skydiving when I reached 38, decided to take me. For all his faults (and yes Adam, you have them) he is a terrific guy, and a good friend. Honestly, I would have been happy just to hang out at home and play Scrabble. And part of me is worried about keeping my crap together (in every sense of the term) for the time it takes to travel, park, walk through the arena, see the show, and whatever happens after. But a few well-times med dosings and a banana will… might … make an accident less likely.
I firmly believe that we are not kept alive by medical means alone. And we are not made whole by the stuff we acquire. No, I think it’s the connections between people that give us roots in this world, in this life. For some, its animals, for others, lovers, for others still, friends and family. I am fortunate beyond the telling of it to have found a little of all three. That makes my whole experience here worthwhile.
People have made the mistake of calling me brave. I’m not. Seriously, I’m not. I got something better. I’m loved.
Loved wraps brave like paper wraps rock.
J-
Loved big.
Loved long time.
By many.
You know, Jonathan, in school, of course. I learned about cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am).
Somewhere else I either heard or read a better definition. I am thought of, therefore I am.
just sayin' you know, about "... connections between people that give us roots in this world, in this life."
robert
Hi Jonathan,
So glad to see you celebrating life once again. It is often times the most simple of emotions, and opportunities that make the life we live qualitative. I am truly glad for Adam, and thank him for jerking you out and taking you to the Circus, and hopefully you did the evening without any dire consequences.
Please take it easy, as recovery from PCP is not done in a week or two, or even a month or two. It usually takes a very long time, but then we all know you have not only the strength to do so, but the fortitude. Yes, you are brave, but you wouldn't know that because your humility is showing. :)
I love ya man, and pray for you and your family of fuzzies often during the day and week.
In Love,
Tim..
I'm fairly new to being Poz...2 years and luckiily not on meds yet. I read your blog. I wish you the best of health. I hope your ferrets, friends, and family take care of you. Life is about love. It sounds to me that you are doing better than most of us. I am sorry you don't feel the success you have mentally and spiritually. My family, my dog (part of the family of course :-), and I wish you the best! Email me!
Okay kiddo,
Let me just say that I truly am amazed by you. Though I sometimes don't check for your blog EVERYDAY, I do check in at least twice a week.
I check in because there are days that I need to be reminded that there are good people out there. You inspire me to deal with the crap that life sometimes deals us, even if it is in large doses.
Every time I read your blogs, good or bad, you make me want to write, deal with my being positive, continue being who I am.
And just so you know, you slipped up... I now have your birthday info. Look out for silly birthday cards. Plus if I hit the lottery, big boxes of surprises as well.
Bubba hugs sunshine!
First time reading the blogs.....well written...hope this helps....I have been taking selenium supplement for years,daily,with a regular multivitamin,etc,occasionally supplementing (near daily) with beta carotine,and zinc with magnesium.....started over (O.K. WELL over a decade ago at reccommendation of Dr.,newer studies show,especially selenium,THWARTS,(mighty big word for a 53 year old...lol)the virus,longer use actually helps to increase T4/CD4 and decrease viral load.....only other suggestions....I dirink mainly water...8-10 glasses a day and take metamucil once a day....when I follow the regimen "religiously" the result is little gas (by Kaletra standards) and less need to invest in the stock market for toilet paper......BEST......and feel free to email....but please realize that I seldom check my mail.....so be patient for a reply.....
Havent read your blog in quite a while. Glad to hear you are keeping it together to the best of your ability. Im inspired by your heart and at the same time ashamed of my own whining and selfishness. I think today I will act like a man and not lash out at others because im sad about this damn disease. If you can manage a little gratitude in the shape youre in, I should be able to muster a bunch in my current state. I check my mail every day. It would be great Jonathan if you would email me. Maybe you dont do that with strangers, but we are only strangers until we get to know each other.