hurting

ack, these treatments hurt a lot. Note to self, when dipping down to the twenty-something level of T Cell activity, try not to expose yourself to fungus.

Fungizone sucks. Oh, and Fungizone is a registered trademark. Any use of this word is going to make my drug prices go up. Let's call it Amphotericin B. Nice IV infusion, followed by a RUSH hoem before the high fever and nausua and junk kick in. All to treat a fungal infection, like thrush, only apparently in my brain and spinal cord.

And in the meantime? Fluconazole, the generix anti-thrush medication that, when taken by the fistful, makes you feel fairly bad on its own.

So my depression and frustration and sadness? Might have something to do with the nasty stuff I have had going on in my brain, and in the fascinating treatment used to kill the infection. Cool stuff, all that.

So for at least the next two weeks, I have nasty treatments to look forward to, as well as spinal taps from here till whenever.

I am eating salad and tater tots.

My best friend is sleeping on the futon, being all best friendly. He snores tho, and does not clean up the place. He does, however, take my temperature and make sure I am not going to roast. He also makes dinner and feelds the ferrets and takes out the trash. He also burps loudly, and often, and sometimes blows it on me.

He is also single, guys, so bait your hooks accordingly.

Tomorrow is the 4th. I will spend it on a sabbatical from treatment, and enjoy a quiet day. Except for the fireworks, of course. I will try to make my authentic barbeque sauce for later on in the week (North Carolina Style, basically vinegar and pepper sauce and sugar and a tiny bit of ketchup). Tonight , though, I am sitting on the floor in front of the futon, while my best friend snores on the couch. I am thirty minutes from taking a warm shower and heading to bed.

AIDS? sucks

Life is not so bad. Life is actually good. My Mom is alive and well. My friends love me. My ferrets worship .... well... the beanbags they steal from me... and my world is full of interesting stuff. Need to take those antivirals and get my T Cells back up... give myself a year or so longer on this rock, if that's possible.

Every day is the beginning of a new age. Every landing you walk away from, gives you courage and strength. Every dumb thing you survive is an achievement worth noting. I've survived a myriad of dumb things. Most of them, I started and stopped myself.

Coming in the mail next week? New controllers for my Playstation 2. Thanks to Adam, and his desire to play Mortal Kombat without the necessary pause inherent in sticky buttons. He's a cool guy, a good friend.

He just burped and asked me if it smelled like cabbage. I love my friend.