Lisa's POZ Blog

I haven't been around much over the last couple of months. It seems I can't sit in the chair for more than half an hour at most I can't tell if it is my attention span, writers block, or pre-occupation with mini microcosms of my own mechanation. Regardless of the reason, I really miss the banter and concern of the daily forums. I even bought one of those cool chair thingies that massages your back and legs, and has a heating element that just fits the lumbar region. I thought I could use the attraction as an incentive to help me sit here longer, but to no real measure. I have been reading more these days, but even the reading can't help me stay very long in this chair.

All of the above was originally written in early December.
It is now April of 2008.
I have finally come to the realization that the real reason for my long absence was simply the cold hard truth of a portion of my disease process.
I kept naming off reasons to myself, which sort of worked for awhile.
Of course there was "the holidays", too busy, writers block....blah blah blah. Now in looking back over the period, I believe it was a combo of "winter blues" and mostly a whopping dose of apathy.
Not only did it affect my online life, but all aspects of my everyday life.

Anyone who knows me, pretty much knows that I'm rather a pragmatist in my approach to life. So I accepted the fact that dementia is quite real. I had done a fair amount of reading and research, in the off chance that it sneaks up on me, I can have a plan in place.
I clearly underestimated the seriousness, and the ramifications of the havoc it can produce.
I lost all interest in almost every aspect of daily life. I neglected my personal hygiene, let the house go to hell. Hell, even the spindly little ivy plant that came out of one of the arrangements for my mother's funeral, finally died of inattention.I had managed to somehow keep it alive for ten or eleven years(she passed in '96'),only to suddenly notice it's obvious death.

When it is happening to you, you lose the ability to look objectively at what may be at the core of the problem.
My friend actually had to nag me to shower,even going so far as to clean the house one day while I was away doing some errands. I'm quite sure he thought it was sheer laziness on my part, but I couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Spring has finally brought me around again. The sunshine has worked a small miracle for me. While I only have the attention span of a gnat, it seems that I am more alert.

There has been one other little miracle(disguised as a blessing)that has come into my life.
Those who know me, know that I am the critter lady.
Last spring it came in the form of a 4 week old baby squirrel named Tyke.
Well three or four months ago, I got a call from my daughter. Her neighbor was in a bind, as she was caring for her own elderly mother in a rehab facility, and her mother's bird. Did I want a bird?
Don't need to ask me twice.
While I have been tending Sweetie's progress through her battle with cancer, she has been kind of stable for a while now.
That very night I went to meet, and bring home my new friend. Her name is Lovey( no, I didn't name her) Dovey. She is a beautiful white dove. I went straight into research mode to learn what care, food, behaviours, and idiosyncrasies I needed to know.

It was love at first sight. They are commonly called "laughing doves" as they make a unique giggling sound whenever they land somewhere. She always has a nice conversation with me. She is on me or with me all day. She loves to nestle in my hand to nap. She cleans my eyelashes, and eyebrows, and just generally makes sure my feathers are all in order. She came with a huge cage, but she only hangs around in it at night, and to bless us with babies. The perches she had were soft plastic and very digfficult for her to grip, so we( yes I mean we) went to get her some appropriate equipment. She lovesto go bye-bye with me in the car. She perches on my shoulder, and while we're going up the street she has her wing straight up in the air. It is a display to all of the other birds that this is her territory. While we were there, I picked up a removable nest. She has blessed me with about a dozen babies thus far. She apparently doesn't know that they will not hatch. She believes I am her partner, and she coos the 'come to bed' coo when she is trying to sit on the eggs.
If I leave the room for a bit, she panics and does the 'oh my God where are you..I can't see you' coo.
At night while she is in her cage, she will coo for me if she hears me laugh at a program.
She does the whole submission and wing flapping thing
to appeal to me. She also has an entire vocabulary of coos that I have been slowly figuring out.

Long story short, she has made a tremendous difference in my life. Every time she comes to land on me, I cannot resist the giggle she does. She sounds kind of like a cross between a chicken and a turkey.
I defy anyone to resist giggling when she starts.
She has helped me to not be so morbidly focused on Sweetie's lingering death process. Lovey has become used to Sweetie, and has even allowed her to get close enough for a sniff a couple of times. Sweetie is too ill to care about trying to prey on Lovey.

So now we are three, the weasel, the bird, and me.
I'll be around more.