Well, I took the plunge and started on antidepressants. I am taking Effexor and they had me start off slow and work my way up to 75mg a day.
The first two weeks were PURE HELL! I wish I had never read the pharmacy’s “precaution sheet” because I ended up having each and every one of them. WOW! This shit is POWERFUL!
The side effects have worn off, but I have yet to feel any sense of them working. I hear it takes a while, this is my first time. I just think it’s funny that I’m waiting to have a moment of euphoria or something. I’m actually not sure what to expect, whatever is supposed to happen, I just want it to happen soon.
I’m so tired of the funk. Tired of not wanting to leave the house, meet with friends, nothing, I do want to do anything.
I want to write about something happy. I want good news, something to look forward to, this shit is getting old, really old.
I’m not taking care of myself like I normally would. I have all but forgotten about my Diabetes other than to take my shot every morning. My doctor’s office keeps leaving me messages that I need to come in and I just don’t have the energy to be treated like an 8 year old and be told my sugars suck. Even though I am acting like an 8 year old, I don’t want to hear it.
I’m not looking for sympathy, just venting. I have pushed all my friends’ away, stopped going to my women’s HIV group and I am grumpy at work. I can only imagine what a joy I am to be around…………NOT
The worst part is, I went to try on bathing suits this weekend………..oh Jesus! Let’s just say I wish I knew how to binge and purge.










