Lisa's POZ Blog

I’m not sure what to do. I’m over the “I was just diagnosed” phase of my virus. Lola is now a living breathing part of my life that I rarely think about anymore. So what excuse do I have now? I’ve used the “I’m fat” defense, vacillated with the “I’m not worthy” justification but none of it seems plausible any more.

So what do I do to kick start my life again? I could always do what my mom suggests……”take a class honey” “lots of men take classes you can meet someone there.” Uh, yeah………no.

I’m not just looking for a mate, I’m in need of some new friends. People I can hang out with, go to the beach, the mall, gossip on the phone, anything. Thanks to “letting go of my anger” through better living through chemicals, I really think that I am in a better place to be more receptive and open. I’m tired of doing things by myself. I’m tired of having meaningful conversations with my cat. I want someone who talks back, well, at least in a language I can understand and relate to.

There are so many websites out there that offer all sorts of relationships. Friendfinders, SugarDaddyFinders, you name it, it’s out there. I’m tired of keys behind the computer screen meeting game. What ever happened to just meeting people the “normal” way? So here’s my question. What actually IS the “normal way?”

I have to say, in all my retrospection, I have managed to go through A LOT of books, several new movies, lots of reality television, a couple of new restaurants, two tubes of sun tan oil and I now have a killer tan! Sans the book reading, all was done alone. Let me just say, that is WAY too much Lisa for one person! 

I am getting out of the house more, which is a HUGE step for me. I haven’t cancelled any plans that I have made, kept up with all of my commitments even if I really didn’t want to go, I forced myself to and mostly had a good time when I did. I just want more. I am ready to admit that I actually deserve more. Do they sell “more” at Target?

I did it! For some strange reason, I decided to post a singles ad on Craig's List. Why I picked this medium I can't even explain.

I have to say that I was very pleasantly surprised by the responses. Yes, I did get responses, quite a few of them actually. Incredibly nice, caring and sweet responses. So far no psycho's but there's still time.

My biggest fear is to send them my picture. What if I know them??? What if they are some kind of whacko denialist who posts my picture on some website???

Now the hard part. Responding to the emails I received. Baby steps…..

Here is my ad:

Well, this sure isn't easy to do, but here it goes.

I am a 43 year old single, attractive woman who was diagnosed as being HIV positive in February of 2006. No, I am not a prostitute, nor an IV drug user. I contracted it from my boyfriend of 2 years. I am healthy and asymptomatic. (that means I have no symptoms just in case you didn't understand) I will live a long and healthy life, sans this virus.

I am ready to rejoin the dating world and I am hoping that the stigma associated with this virus has lost its momentum.

I am smart, funny, active and quite a "catch" :) 5'7", 140lbs, dark hair, brown eyes, and sporting a very nice tan thanks to the beautiful weather we have been enjoying lately.

I'm interested in friends first, I know that whoever responds to this ad will need some education on this virus and I have no problem with that. The more you know, the more you'll understand that you can't get it from kissing, hugging, toilet seats or sharing a drink.

You be smart, funny and passionate. Passionate about love, life, family and friends. Enjoys going to the beach, hanging out in Balboa Park on a Sunday, Charger games and cool dive bars. I prefer men between the ages of 36 and 45.

Let's see what happens!