Lisa's POZ Blog

I’m not sure what to do. I’m over the “I was just diagnosed” phase of my virus. Lola is now a living breathing part of my life that I rarely think about anymore. So what excuse do I have now? I’ve used the “I’m fat” defense, vacillated with the “I’m not worthy” justification but none of it seems plausible any more.

So what do I do to kick start my life again? I could always do what my mom suggests……”take a class honey” “lots of men take classes you can meet someone there.” Uh, yeah………no.

I’m not just looking for a mate, I’m in need of some new friends. People I can hang out with, go to the beach, the mall, gossip on the phone, anything. Thanks to “letting go of my anger” through better living through chemicals, I really think that I am in a better place to be more receptive and open. I’m tired of doing things by myself. I’m tired of having meaningful conversations with my cat. I want someone who talks back, well, at least in a language I can understand and relate to.

There are so many websites out there that offer all sorts of relationships. Friendfinders, SugarDaddyFinders, you name it, it’s out there. I’m tired of keys behind the computer screen meeting game. What ever happened to just meeting people the “normal” way? So here’s my question. What actually IS the “normal way?”

I have to say, in all my retrospection, I have managed to go through A LOT of books, several new movies, lots of reality television, a couple of new restaurants, two tubes of sun tan oil and I now have a killer tan! Sans the book reading, all was done alone. Let me just say, that is WAY too much Lisa for one person! 

I am getting out of the house more, which is a HUGE step for me. I haven’t cancelled any plans that I have made, kept up with all of my commitments even if I really didn’t want to go, I forced myself to and mostly had a good time when I did. I just want more. I am ready to admit that I actually deserve more. Do they sell “more” at Target?