Subscribe to this blog's feedHonestly, if it was not for my family and friends, I do not know where I would be. So I decided to dedicate a blog to them. Don’t get me wrong -- when I was first diagnosed; I thought that my family was against me. I actually thought the whole world was against me. My family and friends told to keep my HIV status a secret, and that I would be judged. I felt that their telling me to keep quiet meant they did not love or accept the person that I had become. In reality, they were just trying to protect me from stigma and discrimination. Who would have thought?
Through it all, one person stood beside me the whole time: my best friend, Cortney Sweatt. At first, I did not understand why she was still there and treating me as if I had not told her that I had HIV. I’d gotten used to the negative reactions, and I wanted to accuse her of not wanting to deal with my situation. It took me a while, but I finally figured out what set Cortney apart. When it came down to it, she was educated enough to know that she could be my friend and not catch HIV. She also knew that just as easily as it had happen to me, it could happen to her, too. Not many people felt this way, but the same goes for my friends Shay Dixon and Lanetta Mayes. These three are my ONLY friends that I had before HIV that I still have the same relationship with afterwards. One night, I was out with my friends, and we were in the middle of the dance floor. I was so scared to dance with a cute guy that I saw, because I was scared that someone would yell out “Look at him dancing with the girl with AIDS!” I told Shay that night that I had HIV and I knew she had my back 100% and suddenly I was not so nervous. Lanetta is another friend who’s always been there for me. She found out my status from the “street committee” that enjoyed spreading the news around that I was positive. Lanetta put the “street committee” out of business, and she worked to make sure that I was all right. These three girls may not know how I feel about them, or may not think it is that serious, but all of their actions meant a lot to me and made a world of a difference in my future.
I can admit now that I had my guard up trying to protect my heart…I still do. But I am wise enough to know that my family has always loved me and never disowned me. It just felt that way at first. But when it came down to it, a lot of them were not educated-- and evidently neither was I. The biggest lesson I learned was to put family first the same way that did me when they were trying to protect me. Just like HIV, family is something that you have to work at. I am not perfect, and neither is my family, but I am so grateful for mine. I love you mom, grandma, aunt Beverly, my sisters Tab and Monet, my nieces, Diamond and Jamiya and my nephew Jamarius. Rest In Peace to my daddy who died in late June of this year.
“You are HIV positive.”
“You are HIV Positive.”
“You are HIV POSITIVE.”
Those words that the doctor said play over and over, again in my head,
But I know with family and friends around, the virus, I will always stay one step ahead.
This is a very touching blog. I never knew that me doing what I was supposed to do as a friend meant that much to you Marvelyn. My relationship with you is like a mirror. All of the positive vibes I get from you just reflect back your way. It has always been like that. I remember when you first told me that you had HIV. I really didn't know much about the virus but I knew that if you could get it then so could I. It really hit close to home and made me want to educate myself about it. Courtney is another very strong female and I can see exactly why the two of you are best friends. We all love you so much and it has nothing to do with your status. It does however have everything to do with how great of a person you are. You know that I have your back and that will never change.
Shouts out to Cortney and all your wonderful friends and family, but most of all to you, Marvelyn. Being able to express so well what you've faced and achieved -- and how you've done it -- is great. But being strong enough to do it in the first place, with grace and humor, is even greater. Together, they create a pwerful tool to be used by everyone who's trying to figure out how we all live and thrive in this epidemic. Thank you.
Like usual, this is a strikingly open and moving snippet from the life of Marvelyn. Thank you for sharing it! Especially just before Thanksgiving, when many of us will see our own family and/or oldest friends.
Your post is very touching and personal your father would of been proud of you.
That said a couple of questions from one HIV positive male to another positive female.
First do you think Majic Johnson, you, or anyone else who appeared on the Oprah show are the "real faces of HIV/AIDS"?
Me being a HIV male seems lost, but I knew when I was diagnosed that I would be fine, "hell Majic Johnson is living with it so can I.
When they told me I really thought there was already a "cure", now educated, I am writing a paper in my Pathology class about HIV infection.
Your story, though touching, is not real.
Ask the homeless person living on the street who is infected How they pay for medications, store them, or even aquire them?
Those peoples are the real faces of AIDS.
Americans living with HIV that have availability of good healthcare, support groups, and adequate transprtation are still just people. Yes they have HIV, but anyone that has had since the "dark ages of AIDS" and are still living, those are the faces also. Don't you think, we both have only lived with this for less than a decade who are we to talk?
Plus you are very attractive as am I and you have a job, but how did you aquire that job? Actually I really want to know, schooling, and how did you get those skills?
All of you women are very brave, but men are still the real faces of AIDS. We face much of the stigma, and homosexual males face obviously the most.
John, John, John....Sweet heart, you have no idea. Who are you to say who is or isn't the face of HIV? The fact that you have it does not give you the right to put your bitter views on such a positive thing. I know Marvelyn PERSONALLY and I know that she is not and has not been RICH or "priveledged". The fact that she was blessed with such a good job came about because she is trying to make a difference. She's trying to educate other people about this virus. Don't take this the wrong way but WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE? How dare you get on a public blog and criticize her for being the positive person that she is. You can't put her in the same group as Magic Johnson because they have absolutely nothing in common (financially speaking). Marvelyn has been without a place to stay and she has been without her meds. Marvelyn has done more than accepted the fact that she is HIV positive. Instead of sitting in her tears she made a step forward. She decided to ACT. No one is the face of HIV. If you say you are then I believe you. Everyone has their own story but who are you to judge her? And to correct you, homosexual men WERE the face of HIV. Sweety it's 2006 and this is no longer a "white, homosexual-male" disease. All people living with HIV face stigma. You should know that right! And by the way, what does her schooling have to do with anything?
Anyone who has aids, represents the face of aids. Men aren't the only face of aids and it's very dismissive to suggest that women should stop speaking publicly, because this is a gay man's disease. It's not.
Also people who are homeless (and not on meds) aren't the "real" face of HIV. That assumes that everyone with HIV is homeless and don't have access to meds. NOthing could be further from the truth. What homeless people represent is a challenge to the delivery of HIV care and services, but they don't represent the real face of HIV/AIDS, just a subset population.
Marvelyn, I have to say you are very inspiring. As you know, there will always be critics. Most of them are unhappy with themselves and their lives. Don't even let that phase you.
One of the most important lessons to learn as humans is to not place our individual struggle over another's. All I see when I read your words or see you on TV is love and acceptance and I think that's GREAT!
Sure there are more men infected with HIV/AIDS. But that makes your contributions to the struggle even more potent. I know it can't be easy all the time but you are doing a fantastic job!
Hi you are a very strong young lady, i read the article in the December issue of ebont about you and other females contracting this horrible disease, or as i call it A Challenge) be strong. Holll abck
Genealogy, A family based on social network
I am a regular visitor of your blog and always find something new at your site. I have come up with some new findings and want to share it with you.
I just launched a family 2.0 social network, Kincafe- www.kincafe.com. and would like to invite you for the review of the service and provide feedback to andy@kincafe.com.
Thanks
Paul