February 2007 Archives

First and foremost, let’s just say that the “Down Low” phrase is overrated. And I especially take it personal when people blame the Down Low for the high rate of infection in Black women. You see I have two problems with that. First, it is bringing HIV back to a “gay man’s disease”, which that statement was never true, and then, it takes the responsibility completely off the woman. Look. As a woman living with HIV, I’ve learned this: at the time that the sexual encounter took place when I contracted HIV, absolutely nothing else was important except me protecting myself. Not his sexual orientation, nor his HIV status. I cannot blame him. I cannot blame my parents, my schools or TV. At the end of the day, I couldn’t blame anybody but myself.

I decided to do a google search on this “down low” phenomenon, and I came across this interesting site: www.InfidelityAdvice.com. I was tickled when I learned that a lady had created a “Down Low Dozen Tip Sheet”, which included tips like, “suspicious non-verbal communication with other men” - a look, a touch, or hug that lasts a little too long or has undertones of intimacy -- and my favorite: ”spends more time with his male friends than with you.” Please note she said the signs would only appear if, and when, he is cheating with another man. What kind of secret powers do she got? Oh, and I almost forgot that she had a very important announcement.

“VERY IMPORTANT:
From the time you first begin to suspect that your husband or boyfriend may be on the down low, until you have solid proof that he is not,
PRACTICE SAFE SEX FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION.

Your life and health are at stake!

You are at risk for heterosexually contracted HIV/AIDS and a host of other sexually transmitted diseases if your husband or boyfriend is having unprotected sex with other men. Please, for your own sake, do not take this information lightly!

HIV/AIDS is no joke!

Protect yourself.

Safeguard your health.

Do not become another HIV/AIDS statistic!”

WOW! Is she serious? Her first sentence was “until you have solid proof that he is not, PRACTICE SAFE SEX FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION.” A person should practice safe sex whether their husband/boyfriend is on the down low or not. The only thing she said that I agree with is “safeguard your health.” But then her “urgent” message gets even worse. “You are at risk for heterosexually contracted HIV/AIDS and a host of other sexually transmitted diseases if your husband or boyfriend is having unprotected sex with other men?” Is she sure about that? I mean she can’t be 100% correct. For one, she said “men,” when that word should clearly be singular. It only takes one time, one man. Not to mention she left out the other gender, yes women… or should I say ‘woman’. Newsflash, “expert”. HIV is passed through oral, anal and vaginal sex and sharing ALL needles. HIV does not discriminate on gender, religion, ethnicity, income, age or education. Next time you want to write about HIV, do your research. Go to poz.com and get the facts first.