As of late, my mind has been on HIV more than it normally is. Not because something is going on with my health, actually that area of my life is doing quite well except for a pinched nerve in my shoulder. But due to the lack of support here in my town for people with HIV. Don't get me wrong, my ASO is doing all they can and they have truly been a lifeline for me. I have come to realize that they can't do it alone.
I sat in on an advisory meeting today that kind of took my breath away. I had heard about these meetings before but today's meeting was the first time that people actually showed up other than those who plan the meetings. I listened to their stories which pulled at my heart but couldn't help but notice that other than myself there was only one other poz woman there. And that in itself was saying something. Both of us had something in common---betrayal by family. And we both were excited by the other for our own reasons, hers I think was because another woman showed up who was indeed like her. I, myself was excited by what we had in common but it opened my eyes to really see that I am needed. And I thought if this woman can make meetings without fear then why can't I?
While the meeting was going on, I was talking to a lovely lady who I will call M. I explained to her that I would like to help those who are newly diagnosed and women. I only wished back in '97 when I was diagnosed that I had someone to talk to who could relate to what I was feeling at that time. I know that the case managers at my ASO do what they can but being a woman and poz, I just feel like that in itself will make a little bit of a difference. Because when you are new to this virus and have a case manager, sometimes a newly diagnosed person can feel like the case manager is going through the motions or only do it because it is their job. I am not saying the case managers are like that, I know they are not but it took me awhile to see that they weren't. And sometimes it is easier to open up to someone who can relate to what you are going through. I feel that no one should have to go through this journey alone.
And my favorite saying is, "If I can reach out to just one person". I think I have done that with my blog and will continue to keep blogging. But I just think it will mean so much more if I can reach out to someone in my own community. I am hoping that my ASO will take me seriously in this and make me a Peer Advocate.
I'm not wanting to do this for any selfish reason or to put myself on a pedistool. Just after being a part of this meeting today, I can really see that I am needed. And the most important thing is that I want to help.
HI! Jest some guy that was there . You did help me wen i was the new guy out . My v was 666000 and my cd4 was like 75 . YOu got me to go to the right place for help fast . I went from the DR to you in 20 min boy did i need you that night . You are a Peer Advocate.You did it with out thinking . OH yes and your math is off but I will let M tell you that .
It's a blessing to be able to help others, not everyone can. If you believe that your efforts would be helpful, then go for it!
Asa PLWHA HIV-AIDs education & awareness speaker for access aids sudbury ,i applaud your efforts!We need MORE PHA's to break their silence & create "front lines of attack"on HIV-AIDs by starting Blogs,Vlogs & Video's & webcasts-blogs-pages-sites& diarys we can bring about education & awareness to even more peoples of earth!All peoples NEED to be tested if we R to stop this disease & WIN this WAR on HIV-AIDs!G.I.P.A. NEEDS TO BE APPLIED TO ALL ASO's!!!james gough sudbury ont canada.
Hi Michelle,
First off let me start by saying THANK YOU. YOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE. This blog itself is proof of that. When I was diagnosed, also in '97...1 month before my 30th birthday...although I had already been poz for 13-15 years at best guess, I had viral load of OVER 841,000 copies and a CD4 of 8(yes, that was EIGHT [not a typo..lol]) I was told that quote, "Mr. B******, I'm sorry to say to have to tell you this but our best prognosis is 6-12 months. You may want to consider getting your affairs in order." I was nearly 2000 miles away from my friends and family as I had been transferred there by the company with which I was employed so I can relate to how you must have felt like you were 'alone in a crowd' so to speak. What I can tell you is that there are a number of websites. One of which (I hope you don't mind 'the plug' here.) is www.hivchat.org which is an INCREDIBLE group of people, some with HIV, some with HPV, Hep C, etc. that come from ALL walks of life and all around the world. I was a moderator in this chatroom for nearly a year and in another for nearly 3 years so I can also relate to your desire to help others...especially those newly diagnosed. It helped me deal with my own diagnosis. By sharing my experiences, both good and bad with others, both newly diangosed and 'veterans of HIV', as some would call themselves, it gave me the ability to more easily accept and deal with my diagnosis as well as help others through theirs by answering questions that they may have, locating resources for them, etc. One thing of which I had to be EXTREMELY cautious was with whom I shared some of the worst of my HIV experiences. I mean there is a time and place for everything and I don't really want to
'freak out' someone who is newly diagnosed...I'm sure you understand). Much like yourself, I say these things not for self-praise or a 'pat on the back' but to make the point that EVEN THE SMALLEST of gestures can make a HUGE IMPACT on the life of someone...ESPECIALLY someone NEWLY diagnosed with HIV...and ANYONE and yes EVERYONE CAN HELP. Even those who think they can't. Many times a smile is all someone needs to make their day. And please don't mistake me for one of those 1960's tree-huggers..lol...not that I have anything against tree lovers...they make great shade :}) My point is it doesn't take much to help at all these days. More often than not, a smile or a kind word can do MORE THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE!!
I hope you all make it a GREAT DAY and God bless you all!
www.HIVchat.org is great, there is also http://www.AIDSchat.org :)