I finally hit the big 4-0 on January 12th. I would have to say it was the best birthday I had in years. People who I hadn't expected to know when my birthday was actually rallied together to make it special for me. And those that did know my birthday like my sister, was there to welcome me into the 40's reminding me that I am no longer considered a spring chicken. But I still wasn't long in the tooth. I hate that saying just about as much as the term old head which is used in my hood. And who the hell made up such unflattering words?
I mean I do realize that I have gotten older and put on a few extra pounds. My body reminds me of that when I try to do something that I use to be able to do back in the day. Considering some of the wild things I have done in my earlier years, it is a blessing that I am still on this earth today, even with this virus. But why does reaching forty have to mean you are old? Maybe I just don't like the word old. Matured sounds much better to me. I have overcome many obstacles that life chose to throw at me. I bitched about them all but I also learned from every one. Those bad experiences along with the good ones has made me into the person that I am today.
Back in the day, being a D.J., I was the life of the party or the center of attention. Now that I have matured, I no longer want the attention or drama. What I have these days is a peace of mind. I prefer my comforts of home to the drama of the streets. Some think I have turned into some type of recluse. But I beg to differ, I just enjoy being at home. I socialize when the need arises instead of making it a part of my daily routine. So, to me, it is not about getting older but reaching a turning point in my life.
To ad-lib a quote from Celie in the movie, "The Color Purple", "I may be black, and I may even be ugly but Lord I am here, I'm still here."
MICHELLE:
When one, in the name of love alone, leaves everything behind for a man/woman we barely know then we should have our heads examined. Yes, many of us are looking for that last stop, that custom-fit in an off-the-rack world. But love sometimes makes you do the silliest things. Just the scent of that man/woman who promises to rock your world for the rest of your life is enough to make us drop our brains by the roadside.
Michelle, it takes two to tango honey. No doubt he's a manipulative, insecure SOB. But as a grown, intelligent woman you have to take responsibility for your share of this mess. Next time, try looking for a man who wants you but doesn't need you. Needy people equal entrapment, and that should never be an option for women like you. ... Or anybody. Wish you the best.
-- ED