September 2008 Archives

I attended two (straight) weddings earlier this month. It had been a few years since I'd attended any weddings. The newlywed brides are long-time friends of my boyfriend.

The first wedding was in the Adirondacks in upstate New York. It was a casual affair. We camped (yes, sleeping tent and all) afterwards out in the woods. The second wedding was in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Although it was a bit more formal (we stayed at a nice bed & breakfast, no camping), fun was most definitely had by all.

Weddings always make me reflect on the magic of relationships. I’ve been blessed with a few long-term relationships, including the one I'm currently in. They've all made my life happier—and therefore healthier.

Later this year my parents will celebrate their 48th wedding anniversary. Despite my obvious bias, that’s amazing. It's unfortunate that such long-lasting marriages are the exception and not the rule.

Approximately half of (straight) marriages end in divorce. Marriage for same-sex couples eventually may share that statistic, but I expect better results. I believe that LGBT folks will go to the altar with much more forethought, which should result in longer-lasting marriages.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi got married last month in California, only the second state where marriage for same-sex couples is legal (Massachusetts was the first). Their wedding was covered extensively in People—they were even on the cover. I don't recall much negative chatter in the media about the fact that two lesbians got married to each other. That's a good thing for Ellen and Portia, but it's a great thing for the rest of us LGBTs. Perhaps marriage for same-sex couples in all 50 states isn't so crazy an idea after all.

“I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” My heart swells whenever I hear those words. If I choose to marry someday, however, I won’t be hearing those exact words at my wedding. Instead, I'll probably hear: “I pronounce you married. You may now kiss.” I suppose it’ll do.

Watch a recap of Ellen's wedding from "The Ellen DeGeneres Show":

Click here to read “Wedding Crashers” by Lucile Scott from the September 2008 issue of POZ. The article explores an interesting twist in the debate over same-sex marriage—whether it would reduce HIV infections.

The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS) recognizes nine HIV/AIDS awareness days “to educate, motivate and mobilize” local communities.

They are:
Feb. 7 – National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
March 10 – National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
March 20 – National Native HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
May 18 – HIV Vaccine Awareness Day
May 19 – National Asian & Pacific Islander HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
June 8 – Caribbean American HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
June 27 – National HIV Testing Day
Oct. 15 – National Latino AIDS Awareness Day
Dec. 1 – World AIDS Day

(National HIV/AIDS & Aging Awareness Day was launched this year on Sept. 18, but it's not yet on the official HHS lineup.)

Each day is organized by at least one nonprofit organization representing the people being served by that day. For example, the Latino Commission on AIDS, the Hispanic Federation and other organizations created a group called the National Planning Committee to coordinate the National Latino AIDS Awareness Day.

There is no doubt in my mind that awareness days are effective in getting attention. The days stated above are all worthy of being awareness days—however, there is a serious omission in that list. Gay men have never had an awareness day to focus prevention and treatment messages on us—until now.

The National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA) commemorates the first National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day on September 27. NAPWA created this new awareness day “to refocus attention on a community that has long been affected by the HIV epidemic here in the United States and abroad.” During the next year, NAPWA will create a national steering committee for this new awareness day.

Some critics may say that an awareness day for gay men is unnecessary. I hope the fact that gay men represented more than half of new HIV infections in the United States in 2006 puts that criticism to rest.

I recently joined the board of the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association (NLGJA) as vice president of print and new media. Previously, I was president of the organization’s New York chapter.

Founded in 1990, NLGJA is a nonprofit organization that promotes "fair and accurate coverage of LGBT issues" and provides its members with professional development.

Last month, I moderated a panel—“The Beat We’d Love to Lose: Reporting on HIV/AIDS in 2008” (cheesy first half of the title, but well-intentioned)—during the organization’s annual conference, which this year was held in Washington, D.C.

The panelists included: Frank J. Oldham Jr., president and CEO of the National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA); Katherine Kripke, Ph.D., assistant director, Vaccine and Prevention Research Program, Division of AIDS, NIAID, NIH, DHHS; W. David Hardy, MD, director, Division of Infectious Diseases, and medical director, AIDS & IDC, Department of Medicine, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center; and Tyrone Hanley, HIV prevention coordinator, Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League.

I was pleased with the attendance, but I was hoping for a full house. I don’t doubt that the fact that there were many other concurrent sessions was the big reason for the lower-than-I-expected turnout. My worry is that if LGBT journalists aren't fully engaged with this topic, then getting the media in general to focus on HIV/AIDS will be more of a daunting task than I had imagined (and I already wasn’t too hopeful).

Thankfully, I ran across a recent item related to HIV/AIDS news coverage that cheered me up a bit. Internews is an international nonprofit media development organization that assists local media around the world. They have developed a program to train journalists around the world how to report on HIV/AIDS. More than 1,000 journalists have participated. They recently held a panel discussion in Washington, D.C., to discuss their work.

“Journalists are the prism through which far greater populations learn about this disease, so it’s vitally important that they get the information correct,” said Laurie Zivetz, Ph.D., director of the HIV/AIDS media training and mentoring project at Internews. “As the messenger, journalists have the ability—literally—to save lives.” I wholeheartedly agree.

Click here to listen to an audio interview with Frank J. Oldham Jr. during the NLGJA annual conference on his views about recent HIV/AIDS media coverage.

"Coming Out Again" is a feature article I wrote for the October 2008 issue of POZ about my coming out process, first as gay and again as HIV positive. (Clic aquí para leer mi artículo en español.)

In my first blog post, I gave a few more details than space allowed in the print magazine about how the Marines told me that I was HIV positive. In future blog posts, I'll continue revisiting certain parts of my feature article by adding more details.

For today, I'll let my feature article speak for itself, so to speak. However, I will indulge myself by posting two pictures that accompany my story in print.

The bow-tie photo is of me in the first grade. The other one is my official Marine Corps boot camp graduation photo.

When I see these photos, I'm reminded of my past. More importantly for me, however, is that seeing them is a reminder of how far I've come since then.

According to a new study, the level of a gay or bisexual man’s internalized homophobia—not the fact of his being gay or bisexual—predicted his mental and sexual health.

“This study is a missing link in our understanding of the relationship between sexuality and health,” said Simon Rosser, Ph.D., a researcher in the University of Minnesota School of Public Health and principal investigator of this study, in a statement.

“It provides new evidence that negative attitudes towards homosexuality, not homosexuality itself, are associated with both poorer mental and sexual health outcomes seen in sexual minorities,” said Dr. Rosser. “Conversely, positive attitudes towards homosexuality are associated with better mental and sexual health.”

“Providers should promote sexual health and avoid interventions that reinforce internalized homo-negativity,” states the abstract of the study published in the Journal of Homosexuality.

In the study, men with higher internalized homophobia were more likely to have clinical depression. Being clinically depressed often contributes to sexual behaviors that increase the risk of HIV. According to the statement, this research “has also been shown to be effective in reducing unsafe sex.”

Anecdotal evidence for all of this stuff is plentiful—I can bear witness that it was true for me. Having dysthymia (chronic, mild depression) since childhood, I’m convinced that it was a contributing factor in my seroconversion. Dealing with my internalized homophobia sooner might have prevented it. I’ll obviously never know for sure, but it does seem to me more than likely.

Federal health officials and community leaders testified before Congress this week to urge action on our domestic HIV/AIDS epidemic. "If we don’t address the underpinnings of the problem, we’re never going to get where we need to be as a nation,” said Julie Gerberding, MD, director of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, during the hearing.

I hope that Dr. Gerberding and the many other influential government officials involved in this fight against HIV/AIDS understand that homophobia (internalized and otherwise) is one of those "underpinnings" that requires attention.

Dear Rachel:

Congratulations on your new gig as the host of “The Rachel Maddow Show” on MSNBC. Kudos also goes to the executives at MSNBC who were responsible for hiring an openly lesbian liberal as the host of a prime-time television show.

Ellen DeGeneres of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (What is it with openly lesbian liberals and self-titled shows?) finally has an evening counterpoint. “I will not dance the way Ellen does,” you told The New York Times. I support your decision.

You were amazing as a guest host for Keith Olbermann this year, so you deserve this opportunity. Please do send my sympathies to Dan Abrams, however, for the loss of his show to make room for your show. (Way to go Dan, taking one for the team.)

I’m writing you to not only tell you how proud I am of you (which I am), but also to ask you a favor. Well, not so much “ask you a favor”—perhaps “demand your attention” is more accurate.

You’ve heard the recent HIV/AIDS news—the revised CDC estimates for new HIV infections (they’re up); the HIV rates in the African-American and Latino communities, as well as among women and in the South (they’re up); and the HIV rates among young gay men (they’re up). The situation requires all hands on deck.

You’ve been an HIV/AIDS activist. Your doctor’s thesis from Oxford University (which you attended as a Rhodes Scholar) addresses HIV/AIDS and incarceration. As an HIV/AIDS expert (oh, and the new host of your very own prime-time TV show), you can bring much-needed media attention to our issues.

I know, it’s television (and not a major network at that, but it is basic cable—lots of people watch basic cable). I understand that people primarily want to be entertained when they watch television. But, if anyone can succeed at delivering HIV/AIDS news to the masses in an entertaining way, it’s you!

Good luck (and thanks in advance),
Oriol

Watch Rachel Maddow being interviewed by Keith Olbermann about her new TV show.

Vampires fascinate me. I developed a taste for them after I was diagnosed with HIV in 1992. What we had in common—the fear that people had of our blood—coaxed my curiosity.

My first bite into this new obsession was the movie Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which was released a few months after my diagnosis. Despite the inept acting of a nonetheless handsome Keanu Reeves almost ruining it, the film was captivating.

I then read Dracula by Bram Stoker, originally published in 1897. It was the first time I had read a novel after seeing its film adaptation. I was impressed as to how accurate the movie had been.

By comparison, I was disappointed when I saw the 1979 film adaptation of Salem’s Lot by Stephen King (notwithstanding the attractiveness of the lead actor David Soul—Hutch from TV’s "Starsky and Hutch"). The 1975 novel was much better, but then again that is usually true of most Stephen King film adaptations.

I then sunk my teeth into Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, originally published in 1976. The novel had me spellbound immediately. Louis, the virtuous vampire who regretted feeding on humans, was a fascinating character. Still relatively new to being HIV positive, I could relate to his moral struggles just after becoming a vampire. Lestat, the vampire who made Louis, was just as interesting to me. His unapologetic approach to being a vampire was strangely inspiring.

The movie adaptation in 1994 became an instant favorite of mine. There were complaints from Anne Rice fans about the casting, but Brad Pitt as Louis and Tom Cruise as Lestat turned out to be surprisingly great choices. Christian Slater played the journalist who Louis entrusts with his story.

There’s a line at the end of the movie that does not appear in the novel, spoken by Lestat to the journalist. Lestat attacks the journalist, sucking his blood until the journalist is near death. Lestat then says, "I’m going to give you the choice that I never had." Lestat's maker made him a vampire without his consent. Lestat would not do what his maker had done to him.

That line encapsulates Lestat’s vampire angst, but it also echoes what back then was my HIV angst. I’ve since forgiven Michael for lying to me about his HIV status, but the fact that he knowingly gave me HIV haunted me for years.

My "maker" died of AIDS-related complications several months before the release of the movie. Michael never got to hear that line, but it often surfaces in my thoughts when I disclose my HIV status. I will not do what my "maker" did to me.

The new HBO series "True Blood" (based on a series of books by Charlaine Harris) has rekindled my interest in vampires. In the first episode, we learn that synthetic blood has been invented for vampires so that they no longer have to feed on humans. Sookie, the lead female character played by Anna Paquin, meets a virtuous vampire (or so he seems) named Bill. Louis would be intrigued.

Watch the "True Blood" trailer:

Click here to read "True Blood Work" (a related post from fellow POZ blogger Shawn Decker).

Welcome to my first blog post! I turned 38 years old last month. The day after my birthday, I observed the 16th anniversary of my being diagnosed with HIV. The two events are forever linked, but only recently have I seen a silver lining to that fact.

A little of my back story: I tested negative for HIV in 1991. So when I was diagnosed with HIV in 1992, I knew that Michael was why I had seroconverted. We were in love, but I was naive. He lied about being HIV negative, only revealing to me that he was HIV positive in 1993. He died in 1994 of AIDS-related complications.

Having grown up in New York City as the only son of Roman Catholic immigrants from Cuba, I already had plenty of personal struggles about being gay. HIV only made it that much more difficult to come out about both. I told my parents that I was gay in 1996, but I only told them this year that I was HIV positive.

It was the military that told me that I was HIV positive. I was in the Marine Corps Reserve, a weekend warrior. They had mandatory HIV testing. I was called to active duty the year before for the Gulf War, but fortunately never made it to the Middle East.

My commanding officer called me the week before my birthday in 1992, asking if I would volunteer on either Saturday or Sunday. I was immediately suspicious, but only because I believed it would involve much more work than what he said. Little did I know how true that was in a way, but the work would be of quite a different sort.

I asked my commanding officer if I could choose Sunday to volunteer because my birthday was on Saturday. How old, he asked. Twenty-two, I said. A good year, he replied. Sunday is fine, he said, meet me at the base at 7 a.m. sharp. Yes sir, I said.

After I told him that it was my birthday, I noticed a softness in his voice that I had never heard. He was kind enough to let me have one more birthday in ignorant bliss.

I arrived on time, but the base was empty. I was greeted by my superior enlisted officer. He escorted me to the office of my commanding officer. I saluted him and then was quickly told to sit. He informed me that I was HIV positive by reading from a script.

My superior enlisted officer escorted me out of the office. Tell your girlfriend and any other women you’ve been with, he said. What women, I thought. Yes sir, I said.

My birthdays had always been tinged with sadness. After my birthdays the summer would be over and school would begin. Every birthday was now followed by a new birth date, born into the world of HIV and dead to the world of the healthy. Or so I thought.

I’ve since realized that being HIV positive gives me even more reason to rejoice in being a year older. Being alive for one more year is an accomplishment. Being alive despite the best intentions of HIV to the contrary, however, is a cause for celebration.