Subscribe to this blog's feedIt's understandable for people to be curious about the HIV status of my partners/boyfriends, especially since I've been in relationships with HIV-negative men and HIV-positive men.
However, here are a few questions that make my head hurt:
Does he (my partner/boyfriend) know that you're HIV positive?
Yes. Do you really think I wouldn't tell him? You're supposedly my friend, what do you think of me that you would think that I wouldn't tell him? (OK, I suppose it's your duty to keep me honest.) Are you asking me this to be on the record, so to speak, with my answer just in case it should come up in a court of law someday? Or are you asking me this because you couldn't think of another way to get to juicier questions? Such as...
Are you being safe?
Yes, I'm being safe.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
Are you really sure?
Yes, really.
OK then, so what exactly are you doing to stay safe (you know, like specific details on condoms and lube, what kinds of sexual acts, which one of you is in which position during said sexual acts, etc.)?
Stop right there. I discuss such things with my partners/boyfriends. Perhaps I might share such things with you, but the fact that you're presuming that I would is a bit uncomfortable for me, to say the least. If and when I'm ever ready to share such things with you, I'll let you know.
Isn't it great that he (my partner/boyfriend) is willing to date you?
Yes, it is. I mean, I'm such a hideous freak, after all. The fact that anyone would ever date me is a miracle. Being HIV positive only adds to my hideousness. Is this the line of thinking that you meant for me to suppose this question was coming from? If not, please strike the question and rephrase.
I could go on, but it seems that I've developed a headache.
Click here to read "Mixed Doubles" by former POZ copy editor Ben Munisteri from the June 2008 issue of POZ, in which he reveals being the HIV-negative partner in his relationships with HIV-positive men.
Oriol,
Guess I told an untruth and came back. Thank you for the return comment,and if I was rude before, sorry, the truth is that I enjoy the perspective that each and everyone of you has on the topics of the world. As an hiv- straight guy who is married with children, it is nice to read the differing opinions of different people. I understand that you are homosexual, why is it that (it seems to me), looking from the outside in, that all the gay community talks about is gay rights? Are the issues of the serious recession we're in not in vogue to talk of, is it that you all still feel oppressed? Honestly not trying to be rude here, but give me a break, you guys seems to be crying an awful lot about proposition 8 when if the economy gets much worse all the hiv/aids orgs. will see budget cuts, typically first on the slashing table. If I know anything from my experience with gay people it is that you all are usually a very bright, intelligent, outside of the box thinking type people. The country could use your help on more pressing issues than gay rights, don't you think? Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of basic human rights, gay marriage included, but Obama's pressing issues are highly unlikely to have anything to do with gay rights and hiv/aids. You don't plant flowers when your roof needs repairing, you don't wax your car when the engine is blown, do you see where I am going? The issues you guys want addressed are pressing and epidemic, but this country is in utter turmoil. Do you really think your sub-group, minority issues will make it to the top of the list anytime soon? Please take this for what it is ... I am not trying in any way to be hurtful.
Thanks,
Bobby T.
Bobby T:
Thanks for coming back to the POZ blogs, I will always welcome respectful discussion.
That said, we generally discourage off topic comments.
However, your comments here have inspired me to give a thoughtful response.
Look for it in my next blog post.
Later,
Oriol