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Being Deliberate in 2014!


Yesterday, as I was making lunch, I started to think about living versus being alive. I've got to admit, some days in my past, I was just alive and not really living. That tends to happen when I get sick, like when I'm having a round of IV medication, I stop functioning at full pace - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Then, when I get better physically, I have a hard time bouncing back emotionally and mentally because I had shut them down. It's almost like having to have physical therapy on my mind and spirit after each bout of illness.

Now these last few weeks I've been struggling physically and I had given myself over to the physical, and honestly, after the doctor dug that swab in my raw vulva on Wednesday, I was at a low place. Then something happened between Wednesday night and Thursday morning ... low and behold, I found myself at the gym Thursday morning - sore vagina and all ... Then again on Friday ... and again on Monday!  Still sore vagina and all.

As I settled back home from the gym on yesterday, it hit me right in the middle of cutting up fruit - while I am grateful to be alive, I said to myself, "Girl what you are doing at this moment is being deliberate, you are, living! Then it hit me, I like how this feels!

Yes, I was being deliberate about being deliberate. I could have stayed on the sofa, and I could have just as easily had potato chips rather than fruit. Then I was thinking that one deliberate thing creates a path to another deliberate thing.

See its like this: CrossFit made me want to eat better. Like why would I have such a great workout then turn around and X factor it out? One good thing lead to another good thing. And while I'm still healing, those two good things - CrossFit and eating healthy - have added to my feeling better more each day and added to my productivity.

Yesterday I actually completed eight bracelet designs in the new 20 Collection, for RLT Collection commemorating the 20th anniversary of the Essence cover story.

I woke up this morning happy! Happy to be alive and happy in my skin! So it's official as I go into 2014, I am being deliberate about being deliberate about my life. I'm putting action to my life in all areas of my life to be my best me for me. 2014 makes 31 years that I have lived with HIV, 28 years that I have known my status and 22 years that I have had AIDS. I have no idea how much longer I will live, but I really want to live my best life for the rest of my life. Being deliberate is putting your best foot forward...

When you are deliberate you see progress no matter what areas of your life, whether it is working out, eating healthy, taking your medication, using a condom to keep yourself safe, studying hard in school, working on projects, pursing your dreams and putting action behind your goals. BTW, a goal without action is futile. Yep, I'm being deliberate about being deliberate!

Will you join me in 2014?

Rae on:


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Comments on Rae Lewis-Thornton's blog entry "Being Deliberate in 2014!"

THANK YOU, I've lived with Hiv for seventeen years. it was hard for me because I got the news six days before I had my son, who also have the virus. I am a Breast Cancer Survivor of five years. At forty seven I am living my life. it about me taking care of me. loving the women God is asking me to be. I love hearing your truth. I love loving that man . I read it all the time. because I can remember loving that man instead of loving me. Thanks you for keeping it real. I am living life. I hope to meet you one day. I also travel telling my story . it time for me to put in all into a book. stay strong and keep on living. Tona

Thanks for sharing!! I know everything you described. I'm on my 19th year living with an AIDS diagnosis. When I was diagnosed with HIV, I was already full AIDS. Today is my birthday and now I'm 46. I'm living my life deliberately also. I take my meds, have my setbacks, bad & good days. I've learned my triggers & I've learned how to medically, physically & mentally how to handle them in order to continue to get up out of bed or out of the chair & do something I love. It's difficult yes, especially on those days when I'm in so much pain because I feel like I'm being eaten from inside my bones out by this damned ugly virus. Still, I go on. Still, we all must go on!!! Much appreciation for your article.

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This page contains a single entry by Rae Lewis-Thornton published on January 14, 2014 11:49 AM.

Spreading Ignorance With Authority *SMDH* was the previous entry in this blog.

Meeting A True Southern Belle-Phaedra Parks! is the next entry in this blog.

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