tag:blogs.poz.com,2009-03-02:/richard//32 2011-12-02T13:58:37Z Notes from a Positive Health Care Provider Movable Type 4.34-en tag:blogs.poz.com,2011:/richard//32.33071 2011-12-01T23:08:34Z 2011-12-02T13:58:37Z

Today is World AIDS Day 2011 and I have been struggling with what to say for weeks now. I have written and re-written this column and still felt it lacked something. Then it hit me. It lacked Lynda.

Richard Ferri Today is World AIDS Day 2011 and I have been struggling with what to say for weeks now. I have written and re-written this column and still felt it lacked something. Then it hit me. It lacked Lynda. tag:blogs.poz.com,2011:/richard//32.33007 2011-10-09T21:26:36Z 2011-10-10T18:01:58Z

I waited for some time to pass before writing like the widower forgotten after the death and the immediate aftermath.

Richard Ferri I waited for some time to pass before writing like the widower forgotten after the death and the immediate aftermath. tag:blogs.poz.com,2011:/richard//32.32881 2011-07-17T18:40:55Z 2011-07-17T21:06:29Z

The problem with a smoke and mirrors existence is that eventually the smoke thins and the mirrors dull.

Richard Ferri The problem with a smoke and mirrors existence is that eventually the smoke thins and the mirrors dull. tag:blogs.poz.com,2011:/richard//32.32768 2011-04-15T23:17:33Z 2011-04-16T15:02:50Z

It was there in my early days. I just did not see it clearly or really give a damn about it.

Richard Ferri It was there in my early days. I just did not see it clearly or really give a damn about it. tag:blogs.poz.com,2011:/richard//32.32660 2011-02-21T18:32:26Z 2011-02-22T01:53:24Z

Today I can't take my eyes off of it. I guess that is because the dent was made by the top of my head slamming into the wall.

Richard Ferri Today I can't take my eyes off of it. I guess that is because the dent was made by the top of my head slamming into the wall. tag:blogs.poz.com,2011:/richard//32.3216 2011-01-10T00:59:52Z 2011-01-10T14:25:26Z

It has become an "attack and condemn" shouting match where the winner takes all. No prisoners are allowed and those who hold an opposing view are just plain wrong and need to be dismissed. It has become a verbal nightmare of "If you are not with us then you are against us".

Richard Ferri It has become an "attack and condemn" shouting match where the winner takes all. No prisoners are allowed and those who hold an opposing view are just plain wrong and need to be dismissed. It has become a verbal nightmare of "If you are not with us then you are against us". tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.3162 2010-12-02T23:47:33Z 2010-12-03T02:32:47Z

There they are; all my friends. Snug in their little coffins lying happily akimbo without rhyme or reason. They are just there. But not really you and I know.

Richard Ferri There they are; all my friends. Snug in their little coffins lying happily akimbo without rhyme or reason. They are just there. But not really you and I know. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.3161 2010-12-01T11:06:42Z 2010-12-01T14:34:46Z

Labor leader Mother Jones said it best and said it simply: Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.

Richard Ferri Labor leader Mother Jones said it best and said it simply: Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.3147 2010-11-22T01:55:39Z 2010-11-23T10:36:06Z

Today was a hard day. Today I felt like a member of the choir in church. Rather an odd saying I am sure you are thinking. It is when left alone in isolation, but not when placed back in history.

Richard Ferri Today was a hard day. Today I felt like a member of the choir in church. Rather an odd saying I am sure you are thinking. It is when left alone in isolation, but not when placed back in history. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.3129 2010-11-07T18:29:02Z 2010-11-07T23:19:23Z

Writing for me is like masturbating. It is intentionally self-indulgent, rousingly painful (if done right), self-aggrandizing, and ultimately freeing. After the intensity and the release is the mess. This blog is about the mess. (Part one of it anyway.)

Richard Ferri Writing for me is like masturbating. It is intentionally self-indulgent, rousingly painful (if done right), self-aggrandizing, and ultimately freeing. After the intensity and the release is the mess. This blog is about the mess. (Part one of it anyway.) tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.3077 2010-10-08T20:44:37Z 2010-10-10T14:52:21Z

The emotion of truly not caring about yourself or others is the most terrifying emotion I can imagine. Indifference scares me so much because I have witnessed it's evil so many times. It kills. Many years ago I saw it on such dramatic level that the experience still shakes me to this day.

Richard Ferri The emotion of truly not caring about yourself or others is the most terrifying emotion I can imagine. Indifference scares me so much because I have witnessed it's evil so many times. It kills. Many years ago I saw it on such dramatic level that the experience still shakes me to this day. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.3022 2010-08-30T01:51:13Z 2010-09-01T01:50:07Z

My time may be limited but not my talent. I have been silent and hoping things would change.

Richard Ferri My time may be limited but not my talent. I have been silent and hoping things would change. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.2974 2010-07-25T21:13:25Z 2010-07-27T21:27:45Z

I had forgotten about the envelope the priest gave me. For a while it sat on my desk and I would occasionally spy upon it but always resisted the urge to pick it up. I simply did not want to touch it. If I touched it then maybe it was time to open it up, and do what my priest said to do when I was ready. I did not want to be ready.

Richard Ferri I had forgotten about the envelope the priest gave me. For a while it sat on my desk and I would occasionally spy upon it but always resisted the urge to pick it up. I simply did not want to touch it. If I touched it then maybe it was time to open it up, and do what my priest said to do when I was ready. I did not want to be ready. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.2925 2010-06-27T11:37:04Z 2010-06-28T13:38:26Z

Ernie and I were driving with the top down, bare-chested, hotly pumped from one of our insanely intense workouts, and it felt like the summer of '76 all over again.

Richard Ferri Ernie and I were driving with the top down, bare-chested, hotly pumped from one of our insanely intense workouts, and it felt like the summer of '76 all over again. tag:blogs.poz.com,2010:/richard//32.2790 2010-04-25T21:59:25Z 2010-04-26T14:30:39Z

I am a sober jock that works out 5 days a week and eat an excellent diet. I don't smoke, drink or drug. My only downfall is taking HIV medications for nearly 20 years. I am a long-term AIDS survivor nervously waiting to be fallen by my once athletic heart.

Richard Ferri I am a sober jock that works out 5 days a week and eat an excellent diet. I don't smoke, drink or drug. My only downfall is taking HIV medications for nearly 20 years. I am a long-term AIDS survivor nervously waiting to be fallen by my once athletic heart.