Ron's POZ Blog

Happy 2008! It HAS to be a good year!

I know that I have been very remiss in keeping up with my BLOG, but it seemed right after my birthday in November, I got swamped with family scenarios, road trips – THEN the holidays hit – cooking, baking, shopping and decorating.

Since getting my driver’s license and the mini-van, it seems my family and friends have even more options for my day. We always tend to go out eating and/ or shopping!! My father is a big fan of going out to dinner. He likes to go out to eat and enjoys having company. He’s 81 years-old now and HATES night driving. The oncoming headlights are not a problem for me. He also hates “city” traffic – again, doesn’t bother me. He’s very opinionated about his directions and driving pointers which I usually just tell him, “I’m driving”! Then, he’s quiet and sometimes sulks (like a child). And, he loves his coupons!! Anyway, I feel good when we do get to go even though at times I could shake him!

My younger nieces (9 and 12) like to go shopping and then have lunch. They have the attention spans of gnats – flitting from one store to the next – and wanting everything within reach. They are thrilled to go to Burger King or Mc Donald’s. I also have three 14 year-old nieces too! Now, they LOVE clothes and can happily go from one shop to another and all I keep saying is, “Your mother and father would kill me if I let you buy that”! Lunch – we have to go to T.G.I. Friday’s or Bennigan’s or Olive Garden or any other sit-down fast food restaurant with waiters. They prefer “waiters” so they can flirt, but unbeknownst to them, most would rather flirt with me!! If we unluckily are seated in a waitress’ station, I feel like I am at a table of Linda Blairs in the “Exorcist” as their heads turn to look at a cute waiter. Oh, to be young again and giggle like a girl! HA HA

I have also become a taxi for my parents since the van – doctor appointments and grocery store trips. It is an easy access for them into the mini-van with the ramp and plus – an added bonus for the doctors visits is that I can hear what the doctor says to them. Because, I swear, they must put their fingers in their ears and go “la la la” whenever the doctor says something they don’t like. Then, I can go home and stir up the siblings to badger them!! HA HA

Well, then Thanksgiving came along. My sister and her husband wouldn’t be home this year (2007). So, that left me to cook and entertain my parents over dinner. It would be my first Thanksgiving dinner that I’d cook since 1998 – the year before I got PML. I totally amazed my parents, siblings and friends this year (2007) because I managed it all – stuffed turkey, candied yams, mashed potatoes au gratin, salad and an antipasto plate I was genuinely pleased with the food that I made and my father gave it a “10” – WHICH made my sister jokingly announce then I’ll cook for Christmas!

Then, the race began to get ready for Christmas!!

Since, my sister was not coming home; I decided to decorate the inside of the house for her as a gift (the living room, dining room and kitchen – her part) in addition to my bedroom. So, I was busy for a week getting the bins from the storage shed and decorating.

Then, I had to begin my shopping!! And, again, this was the first time in 7 years that I was able to go Christmas shopping – alone – without needing help. And, I enjoyed it because I was able to go when I wanted, where I wanted and for as long as I wanted. I was able to shop at my leisure and think; which is a far cry from buying in a hurry while someone waits. It was a delight to shop a little at a time.

I had a small dinner party with 3 close friends in the beginning of December. I did all the cooking too – a pot roast, cruditeé and other goodies. We had a very good time – a lot of laughs, sarcastic gay witty banter and reminiscing.

About a week before Christmas, I began baking cookies with purpose – I decided to give about 2 dozen in a gift bag and managed to create 12 “gifts.” I was definitely “cookied out” by Christmas Eve. On the Eve, all my siblings, some nieces and nephews and my parents get together for a family party which began as a birthday party for my Dad to celebrate his birthday (12/25) when my parents divorced 33 years ago. My parents get along nicely, so it’s become our family’s Christmas party.

After Christmas, I spent a quiet New Year’s Eve with a sister, a brother and their spouses. We played cards, watched a movie until we were able to watch the ball drop at Times Square. I amazed them all when I said I lived in NYC for 12 years and never once went to Times Square on NYE!! I joked that only tourists go and I’d spend the evening with friends at a club and watch the ball drop on a big screen!

I never was a big fan of NYE, but I have to hope 2008 is even more exhilarating for me as more obstacles are overcome. I am very happy with 2007 – getting my driver’s license, the mini-van and continued good health. My little everyday victories over the past year may seem small to many people, but I am glad that I have an even larger part of my life back. So, when I see less fortunate people, I have to be happy that I can do or accomplish what I am able.

Happy New Year everyone (even though it is the end of January)

My T-cells went from 630 to 627 and my viral load remains undetectable. All my other blood work – kidney, liver, etc – was very good and my cholesterol & triglycerides were near perfect so the doctor is very happy! Me too! I also told this doctor how my primary doctor said I should be 180 pounds and how I am dieting smart and exercising – she looked at me as if I was crazy. “She (my primary doctor) told you that”? Then made me feel better by adding how I really don’t need to lose weight and wanted to know where I was planning to lose this weight. In conclusion, the doctor told me to just be smart about weight loss because she said I do not look at all heavy!!!

One note: say a little prayer for my niece Mackenzie. We just found out she has Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. She will need to have Insulin injections 4 or 5 times a day for the rest of her life now. She’s only 8!! At the very least, I am grateful she will have a long life because of her meds.

Now, back to my update….

Halloween was enjoyable especially when my young nieces came trick or treating and I was able to snag a decent sized pumpkin for pumpkin bread!

I did turn 49 this year on my birthday which was nice because my sister and her husband were here at home (Arlene and Jim). I did decide though for my 50th, I want a summer cookout in September to celebrate. One – the weather is nice and more people can fit into our yard! And, two, it’s warm yet!

My niece Kimberly was married on November 10, 2007. The wedding was extremely nice. I went to both the church and the reception in my van – a pleasure to be able to drive again! I also got dressed up for the first time probably since October 1999, so I was in my glory. No sweatpants, Ts or jeans! I wore a very nice hound’s tooth sport coat with a pair of black dress pants and a mock turtle light-weight sweater. I think I looked good even though I accessorized with a wheelchair!!

For Thanksgiving, I did almost all the cooking for the first time since Thanksgiving 1998. In 1999, I was too sick and hadn’t the gumption to cook at all. Arlene and Jim were off and working which gave me the opportunity to cook since Arlene usually does all the cooking for that day. I had both my parents here and my mother supplied one side dish because I really wanted to do the major things like stuffing the turkey! Which I managed nicely and all the basting and baking too! My arms and hands have probably 90% of their strength and coordination back now, so I did all of it and again, very happy that I could.

Well, since Arlene and Jim had to be away working over Thanksgiving, I know my sister was upset she couldn’t decorate inside or even outside. I thought it would be a nice surprise even if I did the inside for her. (The outdoor decorating would be impossible from a wheelchair and the fear of getting stuck in the yard was very over-whelming!) I managed to find her major decorations in the storage shed here and brought the bins into the house by imaginative use of my power chair. Decorating the living room, kitchen and dining area was not at all bad.

I had to use some imagination to accomplish things, but everything was in its place when I finished. By the way, I could stand using the power chair as a brace against my calves for longer periods and even could manage free standing by balancing for shorter periods of time (with good sneakers or even work boots!) I did the decorating for her first before I would even dare tackle the task of my room – I allowed myself a week between the two jobs and thank God, the weather remained decent making trips to the storage shed easier. The family and friends were impressed by what I accomplished.

Maybe soon, I can put up the outdoor decorations!

One “gift” that I truly loved was when my mother gave me a 20 piece Nativity set. What is so special is this set is probably 30 years-old or close to it. Both she and I made it. My mother did all the ceramic work and then I did all the painting and decorating of these figurines. I was, or am, a good artist – don’t you think?

Of course, I did shopping on good-weather days and it was so nice to go when or where I wanted. One time, I took my 14 and 8 year-old nieces shopping for their Christmas gifts – clothes – much easier for me! We went to lunch and then came home to make cut-out cookies and when finished, we watched Shrek 3 – we made a day of it and plus, it gave my brother and his wife to do their own Christmas shopping sans the girls.

I did bake a lot of cookies this year and tried my hand at cut-out sugar cookies with all the decorating – icing and such – since I had the time and being artistic – in my glory. I did make gifts out of them. I put 2 dozen in each bag as a present – I would hope they were enjoyed!

I drove to the family Christmas party by myself and had my father as a passenger. It was fun to drive and it made all the outdoor displays a little brighter on the way home about 9 PM.

One gift I really like is the digital frame I received. Between it, the 4 X 6 printer and my lap top, my digital camera makes photography a joy. It seems I can do all from a memory chip and like the versatility.

New Year’s just sort of came and went for me – I have regrets but it really will not change a thing – I just hope that 2008 is good!

I have lately gotten into redecorating my room – mainly moving things around – reorganizing my mess into another artistic daydream!! HA HA I am still using a lot of denim to accent my paintings but decided to freshen it up a bit using new fabric and new ideas like re-grouping things and rearranging photos and paintings.

One of my artistic projects is putting silk tropical plants and shells on a natural sponge Arlene and Jim bought in Florida. It did have real air plants, but they all died after 2 years! Not bad. So, I am sure it will come out nicely and they’ll like it.

I am re-doing the front door mini-ramps so I can get in and out easier without bopping into the door jam! I made sure it all was wider, longer and non-skid!

A new therapy for me!!! Paint by numbers! Yes, I used to love it as a child and now it’ll help me with my eye-hand coordination and control. This one painting in particular that I bought has a lot of minute details which I will love to tackle and I know that this will help in my freehand art too. I already have an idea for a painting I would love to accomplish!!

My writing. For the first book, I’m still trying to find a literary agent and also have been kicking around new ideas to rearrange it and use a new format to freshen it up and make it more of a novelty in its genre. As far as #2, I need inspiration!!

I am hoping to manage a few road trips this spring – first New Hope, PA then NYC and, yes, I plan to call everyone in the area in hopes to meet up. When I finalize the dates – then I’ll phone. But again, S-P-R-I-N-G!! I HATE COLD AND SNOW!!

I was so determined to begin a good weight-loss program and looking forward to a full exercise schedule again, also to help. I did let myself go for the Holidays and, no, I didn’t balloon up (or out) but I did hit 200. And according to my doctor, I should be at 180. (By the way, she cannot believe I weigh that much!) I earnestly began on 1/7 when Arlene and Jim left to work because I have this horrible habit of using them as my excuse for eating junk and sloughing off. Well, a week into it all and after a loss of 4.5 pounds (Yeah), my back went out! AND, doing something soooo stupid, I never would have thought!! I was getting in the shower and kicked off my undies and then – BAM! Right up my spine!! So, a week after taking it easy and an anti-inflammatory, I am getting motivated again by true dieting and doing exercises in careful stages until I can get to 100%.

Before anyone even thinks of, “Well, that’s no big deal”! Remember that I lost everything by the end of 1999 – my health, my job, my lifestyle. When 2000 began, I couldn’t walk, talk, write, feed or groom myself, cook and the list goes on. So, when I write things that seem trivial to you or others – I am now able to do such stupid, mundane, every day things again and, guess what, it IS a victory to ME. And a big hug, kiss and heartfelt ‘thank you’ to all of you who never gave up on me and encouraged me to keep trying. You know, my next goal is to walk – even with a cane or walker!!!

Another question I wish to address is my spirituality. I have had a number of friends and family ask me many things relating to my beliefs. Well, I do believe in a Supreme Being (God) and am very spiritual using my Catholic upbringing as a basis for my every day ritual. So, yes, everyday, I make sure – before I do anything else outside the home – I do a very Catholic thing – I say the Rosary as I do the stationary bike with no TV or music to distract my meditation. I have to thank my father for instilling my want of doing this daily and then my mother because I do the Divine Mercy each day instead of the basic Rosary. When I finish, then I quietly do personal prayers for my family, friends and even people who just need a prayer, and, of course – myself – mainly health, protection and happiness is the theme. So, I detest organized religion that tells me that I am a bad person. I don’t see that and never will – my God doesn’t!!

Well, my next update will be in May 2008 and look forward to spring!!!

As always,
Ron