Happily Ever After

Somebody recently asked me what I was looking for in a lover. “Wow!” I thought to myself. I never really considered forming a list whether in my mind or on paper, but it has made me think about it a lot the past few days. What DO I want in a lover?

Other than the obvious – he must be sexually compatible to me first of all.

Then temper that sexuality with romance, passion and desire. Monogamy is a must because I would only hope we complete each other and we would only need each other. I know that may sound so provincial to some, but all those damned romantic books and movies end with a “Happily ever after” and I want that too. I only imagine good things when the story ends. I don’t imagine an unfaithful spouse, arguing or a divorce. Let me live in my vision of unending love!

Sexy is watching my lover: play with dogs and animals, playing with kids, enjoying even the simplest glorious things life can offer. And, the hands-down sexiest thing he can do is while he’s offering me his hand as we try something new and say “C’mon, try it with me. I promise to watch you.” So, he must like animals and children and enjoy being outdoors.

Sex, passion and desire all tie into romance, I think. To me, romance is sexy and almost always can be found in the smallest things without any effort. I think having coffee while reading the paper and touching my lover is sexy AND romantic. A light kiss or a hug for no reason is romantic. Sitting with my lover – listening to music or watching a film or just quietly – is romantic.

He should be intelligent about life’s lessons so not necessarily only book smart spouting theories and statistics.

Is it unrealistic to hope to find a man with a heart and compassion about my situation and a sense of adventure to try things with me again or be a willing partner in various outings? I would enjoy being with a man who was not embarrassed by the wheelchair and would be excited to go to a concert, play or movie with me. I only imagine what fun it might be to go shopping even. I could make a list of things I would want to do with a lover from high school football games to bazaars to restaurants.

I guess that being kind and sweet is a given.

Charming them and becoming part of my family are big pluses too.

I have my schedule of exercises and therapies and would expect him to be an active guy. I would love to have him help me at home or even take me to the gym to enhance my home routines once in awhile.

I prefer a man with a spiritual side. That would make me more comfortable knowing that he believes in a higher plan by a higher being.

There are so many little things that a man could do that would make my heart go flip-flop and keep me in love. I can only hope that I can find a man who never tires of little things and that I can keep him happy and smiling.