September 2007 Archives

I love me some games. And I don't mess around, either: I get competitive.

My first favorite game ever was Trouble. I was hypnotized by the pop-o-matic bubble. Then came the Atari 2600, Berzerk was my first cartridge, but Maze Craze was probably my favorite.

In sixth grade I took my geeking to an entirely new level: making dice games with friends. We all loved to draw, so we'd make our characters, assign them hitpoints, and then send them to their deaths against one another. Yes, it was hard to watch them die sometimes, but that toughening-up really came in handy when my HIV diagnosis rolled around later that year.

Now, twenty years later, I'm still making up my own rules, on and off the board. Right now, I'm obsessed with Star Wars Monopoly: SHAWN RULES Edition, a hybrid of the classic rules combined with some seasoning. I am so proud of the game, in fact, that today when I joined Facebook I created a group in its/my honor. Maybe I'll post the rules there, but they'd probably change by the time you read them.

Basically, it's like Monopoly with Warhammer battles. You can either go bankrupt, or get wiped out by other players or a mob of Jedis (if you're bad) or Stormtroopers (if you're good). I combined another game I had, which SUCKED, called Star Wars Epic Duals, using its cool pieces and cards. I won recently with the wimpiest team in the game, Boba Fett and Greedo. Why? Because together we're unstoppable!

This is probably the geekiest blog I've ever written. I know many of you, after reading the book and knowing me in person, can only think of Shawn Decker as a fine athlete due to his tennis prowess (documented in My Pet Virus, when I defeated Andy Deane in the last chapter) and bowling skills.

But I'm more than that.

God, this is really stupid. And I'm not on my zany HIV meds this week, either, so there's really no excuse for posting this blog. But I'm going to do it anyway. I played Wii for the first time this week, too. And that rules.

Positively Your Geekatoid,
Shawn

What's the difference between Shawn Decker and Iranian President Ahmadinejad?

ANSWER: Ahmadinejad has been invited to speak at Columbia University.

Bookings for me and Gwenn are going a little slow this season, so I'm thinking about ditching her (as a speaking partner, not as a wife partner of course!) and hooking up with Ahmadie while he's a hot comodity on the college circuit.

Just a thought...

Positively Yours,
Shawn

Paris Hilton said it. She accidentally stepped in a puddle. And that was her response. Straight from the brain to the mouth. No filter.

Of course, everyone delighted in this. "She should worry about the puddles in her bedroom!" "What a bimbo!" "Paris sucks!" "I can really relate to her because she likes to shop."

But what has been ignored in all of this is how it has affected my beloved positoid community. We are in severe distress over her remarks, to the point where I believe a class action lawsuit against the Hilton chain may be in order... why? Because, if this is true and Paris does indeed have AIDS, then that means we– as positoids/people with HIV/AIDS– have something in common with her.

That is entirely unacceptable.

So on behalf of the AIDS community, I am demanding that Paris Hilton get an HIV test. Then, and only then, will a weary positoid nation be able to rest their tired heads.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

I haven't been writing much about writing my next book, because nothing's worse than reading about someone who is writing. It terms of lack of excitement, it's second only to watching someone write.

That writ, I have to set up the abject horror I experience yesterday by letting you know that I've been writing a ton for my new book, going to a secret spot every weekday with my trusty 2000 iBook... yeah, you see where this one is headed.

So yesterday I arrive at the same locale, and the computer won't boot up. The way it went down, I wasn't too worried about losing all my stuff, but then as I packed up, headed home, and thought of who I should call to bail me out, I panicked: nothing was backed up.

Yes, over 20,000– roughly 1/5 of the new book– was not backed up. That, of course, is entirely my fault. See, my iBook is so old it doesn't even have a CD burner in it, so I only thought of backing up when I was writing and out of the house. When I got home, I quickly put the computer away as not to obsess over the writing, thus forgetting to back up.

I sent out a frantic MySpace bulletin, then called a friend in the neighborhood with extensive Mac skills. Within 10 seconds I heard nothing back (followed by many kind messages giving me some info, thanks!), so I got my things together and was about to make the 1-hour trek to Short Pump: the site of the nearest Mac store. I was prepared to do things– even terrible things to get someone at the Genius Bar to take a look at the computer.

"I have AIDS, so, needless to say, I'm kind of in a hurry here."

I know, I don't use scare tactics. But I was desperate.

Just as I walked out of the house, my phone vibrated: it was my tech friend, he was coming over in 5 minutes.

He arrived, and like a surgeon he started to set up shop on the couch. He had a little spindle of discs, but each time he put one in he'd say, "Oh no," then go to the next one and repeat. "I don't care about the computer, just one Word file that's on there..."

When he "jumped" the computer, firewiring his in, he could access the files and burn them onto disc via the revolutionary CD-burning technologies his laptop had. The day was saved. The book was saved. I need a new computer.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

CAMPUSPEAK are now booking Shawn and Gwenn for fall college campus appearances, for more info click on "Me & Gwenn", or email info@aboyagirlavirus.com.

SUPPORT: Planned Parenthood is taking some shit in Aurora, IL. A U.S. district court has ruled that they cannot open a clinic there. Bush remains silent on activist judges this week, so do your part and sign the petition on the Support link.

Check out Shawn's new CD- co-written with Kyle Wiggins- featuring the Tori Amos cover, "Raspberry Swirl", and original 80's-inspired New Wave/Electronic music... get with the programs! ALSO AVAILABLE on iTUNES!!!

Last weekend I participated in an adult retreat for people with hemophilia and other bleeding disorders, such as Von Willebrand Disease.

I have somewhat of a complex in regard to my "mild" hemophilia status, and it is intimidating to speak to a roomful of people with bleeding disorders that they deal with on a daily basis. Some of the jokes that naturally flow off my tongue to the usual audience of thickbloods could be perceived as insensitive.

I wasn't sure what room in the hotel the festivities were taking place, but I saw a guy in his 20's limping around the lobby. "Hey, what room is the adult retreat taking place in?" He smiled at me stupidly, and started saying something but the words didn't register in my brain, so likely I just stared stupidly back at him. "You're not here for the bleeding disorders thing?" "No, I work for the Navy." "Oh, sorry, I noticed your limp and assumed..." "Nah, this is just a result of my stupidity."

I noticed all the crutches and the large group of folks in the hotel Max and Erma's, and knew those were my peeps. Gwenn and I got a bite to eat, and I found a few passages to read from my book that were related to hemophilia.

As I got ready to speak, I felt more nervous than usual, but from the get-go the 20 plus people in the room were just like any post-dinner audience: bloated and ready for a nap. I made a joke that likened myself, and my mild status, to Barack Obama's percieved "lack of blackness". That got a healthy chuckle, and then I was off and running.

One of the biggest changes since the book came has been my imersion into the bleeding disorders community. I know that sounds odd, but the AIDS community kind of swept me under their wing when I reached out back in 1996, and I was all about the AIDS then; I was just so excited to be talking about it. The big skeleton in my closet. THE AIDS. I was conquering the big bastard in my own way.

Hemophilia, as a stand alone, is boring in comparison. Sure, as a kid I had my struggles with the disease, but found bleeding episodes to be far less of an occurance when I started chasing girls and stopped chasing footballs. (Though I did take a nasty kick to the nads once, in 5th grade. The perp and I went to prom together years later, this fact will be in a future edition of MPV.)

Back to the narrative: basically, in developing my voice as an HIV/AIDS educator, I had to downplay my hemophilia. Not that I was ashamed, I just didn't want to be painted as an "innocent victim". I didn't want to play a part in drawing a line between me and anyone else with an HIV diagnosis. In order to be credible, I needed to be viewed as an adult, as a sexual being.

So, when AHF (American Home Federation, a hemophilia services group) wanted to help me get my book in front of the community, it was a bit of a risk on their part. My generation of people with hemophilia– "thinbloods", as I christened the community– were and are somewhat of a taboo topic. Our existence and survival is a painful reminder of a community that was let down by lots of folks in the 1980's, as tainted blood continued to wreak havoc until the early 90's, where a hepatitis C outbreak did further damage.

Those of who survived, now as thinblooded positoids, often bumbled through puberty and into adulthood, trying to juggle hemophilia, HIV and dating. Now we're adults, but nobody really wanted to talk about sex. With me, talking about HIV and safer sex is just part of the package.

When Gwenn and I were done, I was asked if I was going on the fishing trip the following day. My last joke was, "Are you kidding me? I don't trust you guys with all those hooks flying around!"

It was a great trip down to Virginia Beach, and I saw an increasing amount of familiar faces from conferences I attended earlier this year and last fall. One of my new thinblood friends, an older fellow and a huge wrestling fan, greeted me with a firm handshake, "You like Ric Flair, eh? I read your book!" We talked some wrestling shop, and then after Gwenn and I spoke, he said, "Let's thank Shawn for being here..." Then he looked over at me with a smile, and added in a southern accent, "Now, I'm gonna give you a send off like you've never had: this guy here is kiss-stealin', wheelin' dealin', limousine ridin', jet-flyin' son of a gun!"

A few of the fellow wrestling fans recognized Ric Flair's self-aggrandizing catchphrase (one of many), everyone else looked puzzled. It was a magical moment, and I cherish my spot in this big, limping, loveable family.

Positively Yours, Shawn

CAMPUSPEAK are now booking Shawn and Gwenn for fall college campus appearances, for more info click on "Me & Gwenn", or email info@aboyagirlavirus.com.

SUPPORT: I met the fine folks at The Positive Project while at the Staying Alive conference. If you are positive, and would like to share your story, click on Support and learn more about their goal to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS by utilizing those living with the virus.

Check out Shawn's new CD- co-written with Kyle Wiggins- featuring the Tori Amos cover, "Raspberry Swirl", and original 80's-inspired New Wave/Electronic music... get with the programs! ALSO AVAILABLE on iTUNES!!!

I got numbers out the wazoo recently, and I'll start with the ones I teased about a few days ago: lab results.

No, I'm not Maurey Povich's kid or anything. Just my positoid blood work is in, and everything is the same as it was back in April. My t-cells are 503 (25%) and my viral load is detectable, but less than 50 copies. For the layperson, these are very good numbers for me. I didn't hear anything about blood sugar levels, which is a good thing.

In the bad section is my pesky cholesterol, which is 239. I've relaunched my war on French Fries, and have re-introduced myself to my exercise bike. I'm also going to head up the Children of the Court, the unofficial tennis league with Bella Morte, where Boris Decker vows to bring the title home, and communism to Charlottesville, Virginia. All in the stroke of one tennis racket.

Some other numbers...

I got sales numbers for MPV from Tarcher Penguin, and overall they were less than I expected. I won't post those actual numbers here, for the same reason I don't get out the tape measure and get the real stats on Mr. Willy. For fear of both amusing and embarrassing you, my humble readership.

In all honesty, at first I was a little bummed. But then I just thought about how it has been received, and the constant messages I get assure me that the book has a life, it keeps reaching new people every day, and it's always going to be floating around out there. With each book I write, more people will discover it.

Speaking of... I've really been hammering away at the new fiction title. No deadline has been set, which is nice, and I haven't felt this good about writing in a very long time. The final stretch of MPV was the last time I wrote this much, but it was just so hectic at the end.

Of course, I am beyond thankful for that entire process, which has made a much better writer of me. And, armed with my good lab results, I plan to write many more books, the success of which I will judge soley on the content of the book itself. (And how many MySpace friend requests I get afterwards.)

Positively Yours,
Shawn

CAMPUSPEAK are now booking Shawn and Gwenn for fall college campus appearances, for more info click on "Me & Gwenn", or email info@aboyagirlavirus.com. (A program about Con Crud is in the works.)

SUPPORT: I met the fine folks at The Positive Project while at the Staying Alive conference. If you are positive, and would like to share your story, click on Support and learn more about their goal to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS by utilizing those living with the virus.

Check out Shawn's new CD- co-written with Kyle Wiggins- featuring the Tori Amos cover, "Raspberry Swirl", and original 80's-inspired New Wave/Electronic music... get with the programs! ALSO AVAILABLE on iTUNES!!!

I think I was worried about my labs and everything else because I was coming down with "Con Crud", a bug that went around at DragonCon.

When I got home, I felt it coming on, and staved it off with Vitamin C for a few days. Then I went to the hospital on Thursday, and I think my body relented, allowing the Crud to take over. Hence waking up on Friday feeling a tad feverish and snotty.

No big deal. What is a big deal is how I got the crud... a real big deal.

There were lots of stars at DragonCon, The Beastmaster, Tank Girl, "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase and Chewbacca. The last one caught my eye.

It started off innocently enough. Gwenn was stationed at the Bella Morte merch booth, and I wandered around, taking pictures and enjoying the conference and all it had to offer. Then he walked into my life, towering from above.

I read to the Wookie, and he enjoyed My Pet Virus. I got the sense that no one had ever read to him. Nobody had ever made me laugh like him before. And one thing led to another.

I won't go into details about how I believe I contracted the Con Crud from Chewbacca, but I will say that he will always have a place in my heart.

I should be getting my lab results later today. We'll see if Con Crud affected any of the numbers.
Positively Yours,
Shawn

CAMPUSPEAK are now booking Shawn and Gwenn for fall college campus appearances, for more info click on "Me & Gwenn", or email info@aboyagirlavirus.com. (A program about Con Crud is in the works.)

SUPPORT: I met the fine folks at The Positive Project while at the Staying Alive conference. If you are positive, and would like to share your story, click on Support and learn more about their goal to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS by utilizing those living with the virus.

Check out Shawn's new CD- co-written with Kyle Wiggins- featuring the Tori Amos cover, "Raspberry Swirl", and original 80's-inspired New Wave/Electronic music... get with the programs! ALSO AVAILABLE on iTUNES!!!

On Thursday I went in for my quarterly doctor's appointment with Dr. Greg for the usual friendly banter and lab tests. But I did promise Gwenn before I left that I'd actually talk about how I've been feeling.

Which, overall, has been good.

I have noticed some issues that may be linked with my blood sugar levels. My Mom was diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes, and I've been prone to the sugar attack on occassion, where your hand will tremble until you grab a granola bar– or three– and consume them like that Asian hot dog-eating champion. (I never get tired of using him for blog fodder.)

So, we'll see. I usually enter each decade with some kind of medical diagnosis, here's a brief history thus far....

Birth: hemophilia

Age 11: diagnosed with HIV

Age 18: diagnosed with hepatitis C

I kind of coasted along through my twenties, and just to be fair I'm not including the AIDS diagnosis at age 23, because that's just the continuation of the HIV diagnosis really.

The good news is that I kind of ditched hepatitis C in 2005, when tests showed that I've had no longterm progression of the virus. I'll always test positive, but I don't have to worry about it affecting my health: a lame virus. So much for a My Pet Virus: Hepatitis C Edition.

I also talked to Dr. Greg about how I feel wiped out after just about every meal. Which means when I don't want to be tired, I just don't eat much. Also, on the weeks that I am on meds, my appetite disapates. To combat this, I asked about my old friend Marinol (synthetic THC, was prescribed when I was diagnosed with AIDS and started on HIV meds back in '99).

Since my weight was pretty stable, Dr. Greg said he couldn't prescribe marinol because then the feds would be breathing down his neck. I'm glad that they don't have better things to be doing then cracking down on marinol prescriptions.

On my way out, I was handing my stamped parking ticket to the booth lady, and the 60-odd year old woman looked at me and started laughing. "Yakintothachickenman?"

My brain deciphered the word, breaking it down like a game of Mad Gab. The only way I knew what she was talking about is because Gwenn's aunt said I looked like the guy in the Wendy's ads, with the red ponytails. I thought I'd seen a commercial involving chickens... that had to be it.

"Yeah," I said. "He's my father."

I usually don't even think twice about getting labs done. It's so routine, and all of my numbers outside of my cholesterol have been outstanding over the last several years. But this time, I gotta say, I'm a little concerned. I don't want something there, that shows I'll have to concern myself with another grand medical condition, or anything else like that.

I guess you could say, then, that I'm a little bit chicken. Man.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

CAMPUSPEAK are now booking Shawn and Gwenn for fall college campus appearances, for more info click on "Me & Gwenn", or email info@aboyagirlavirus.com.

SUPPORT: I met the fine folks at The Positive Project while at the Staying Alive conference. If you are positive, and would like to share your story, click on Support and learn more about their goal to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS by utilizing those living with the virus.

Check out Shawn's new CD- co-written with Kyle Wiggins- featuring the Tori Amos cover, "Raspberry Swirl", and original 80's-inspired New Wave/Electronic music... get with the programs! ALSO AVAILABLE on iTUNES!!!

The written word can not describe the awesomeness of last weekend. So enjoy this vid I made for BMTV.
Positively Yours,
Shawn