February 2008 Archives

Pedro Zamora was 22 when he passed to spirit in November of 1994. He'd already gone public with his HIV status before he joined the cast of MTV's reality show, The Real World.

Still living with my parents, having just turned 19, I watched that show, and ate up every moment, relating to Pedro on a very deep level. He was awesome to me because he was on TV and HIV positive.

I watched as he spoke to college students, educated housemates about transmission, and had a commitment ceremony with his positoid partner, Sean Sasser. The Real San Francisco was revolutionary for me- I'd never associated HIV with pop-culture cool before.

I'd never considered going public with my own status, either. But, a year and half after the season aired, a Real World Reunion special aired. One of Pedro's housemates, Judd Winick, spoke out on behalf of his fallen friend. "Do something," he said in regard to the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

The words resonated. A month later, I launched My Pet Virus the web site, which led to an interview with Poz Magazine. My "roaring 20's" had started, and HIV- of all things after a decade of silence- was to be the engine for that decade of my life.

I never had the opportunity to meet Pedro Zamora, but I did get to sleep in Sean Sasser's pajamas in '98 when I was in San Francisco for a Poz Life Expo. (He let me borrow them, don't get any ideas.) I also met Judd Winick along the way, thanking him for his inspiring words and work on behalf of people with HIV.

Fourteen years after Pedro's death, there are millions of people living with HIV/AIDS in the world, and AIDS is the leading cause of death for young African American women in the United States.

Today would have been Pedro Zamora's 36th birthday. I can't think of a better day for you to do something.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

Judd's beautiful tribute to his friend, Pedro & Me, can be found/ordered at your local bookstore, or here.

Homo: So, positoid. I thought we should discuss the Oscars. I was amazed that most of the winners had very deep accents. What parts of America were they from, anyway?  Ain't this supposed to be the AMERICAN movie awards?

Hemo: I'm not talking to you anymore.

Homo:  Why?

Hemo:  Read my blog.

Homo: You have a blog? Hold on. Hmmmm. Oh, I see someone's little ego is bruised because Homo beat his socks off in the predictions game. And you're blaming it on your cold?

Homo:  Well I think you should blame it on your week on/week off med regimen. That virus is bouncing around your body all pissed off. Up and down. Up and down. Poor little thing.

Hemo:  My virus is like Cuba Gooding Jr. when he won back in the day. 

Homo:  Look, young one. Let's be honest here. When your answer to every category is "Rambo," I don't really think you can expect good results.  Especially Sylvester Stallone as Best Actress in a Leading Role.

Homo:  I was so happy for Marion Cotillard, nothing else mattered to me. But, yeah, I am impressed with myself.

Hemo: Okay, okay... now let's talk about the show itself.

Homo:  Except for that Black choir, that was the single Whitest television show I've seen since Laurence Welk. I felt like I was in a time warp. They even forgot they used to have a Black host. Whoopi just got erased from picture.

Hemo:  Did you notice they left Brad Renfro off the Death List?  Probably because he was in an AIDS movie - The Cure - and AIDS isn't that cool in Hollywood anymore.

Homo: Oh, my god. You're right. We homos got a nod with the whole Heath Ledger thing even though he wasn't, you know, gay. I wonder if he was a thinblood and somehow the drugs overwhelmed his red blood count?

Hemo:  I bet he was thinblooded... it's a big secret in Hollywood.  James Dean?  Thinblood.  Died in a horrific straight razor shaving accident; wasn't deemed a cool way to go, hence the cover-up.  Same thing with Belushi. Damn you Hollywood folks and you're hemophobia!  We thinbloods are a lot of fun.

Homo:  Maybe, but it didn't look like anybody was actually having any fun at the Oscars: nobody got drunk, or did anything especially interesting or stupid. Well, except for Gary Busey, but he doesn't count.

Hemo:  Busey was robbed back in '89.  Hider In The House was awesome. 

Homo:  Hider In The ... huh?? We've been doing this for how long now?  A decade?  You haven't learned a damn thing about movies, have you?

Hemo:  Look at the poster for this movie.  Look into Busey's eyes.  Tell me that's not acting.

The Hemo2Homo Connection are Shawn Decker and Steve Schalchlin.

The Hemo2Homo Connection's creators met online in 1996, and posted their first movie review in 1998. Both have been living with HIV for over twenty years, and have annoyed their friends and loved ones for longer than that.  Steve Schalchlin resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is the author of My Pet Virus.  

HEMO2HOMO OSCAR PREDICTION RESULTS

Homo: 6 out of 7

Hemo: 0 out of 4

For ten years, I have held my own in the Hemo2Homo Connection. Sure, I've heard the whispers, that Steve has the eye for the movies. That he lives in Hollywood so he knows the ins and outs. That I'm just some hick kid from Virginia riding on his partner's drug cocktail coattails.

The Oscars were my firewall. And yesterday was my chance to prove that I belonged, that I could compete with my more knowledgeable movie-review partner.

I failed. I'm not sure if I can live with that.

Viral Load Update

Got the results from my viral load test, which registered at under 50 copies after a week on meds. Which is fine. My doc said it's unclear as to the long-term affects of a persistent/miniscule amount of viral load, the big concern being drug resistance.

But my t-cells are higher than they've ever been, and my viral load hasn't been above 200 in seven years, barring my silly decision to go off meds to finish My Pet Virus, which landed me in the hospital three years ago.

So, I'm sticking to the plan. I feel good about my treatment regimen of week on/week off, and today I'm starting a week off. I'm not traveling, am getting over a cold, and am hard at work on the next book...

That's it! Steve beat me at the Oscars because I have a tiny amount of viral load. I was distracted by the cold as well, and made my predictions during a week on meds.

I can live with that.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

Glamour. Glitz. And People Who Take Themselves Way Too Seriously. Yes, It's Oscar Time, and The Hemo2Homo Connection weighs in with their thoughts and favorites.

Best Actor Award
Homo: It is gonna be Daniel Day Lewis for doing the best John Houston imitation of the year.

Hemo: I disagree. It's Johnny Depp for the Edward Scissorhands sequel.

Best Supporting Actor Hemo: Ben Affleck's little bro. Finally, Hollywood tells the story of the legendary outlaw Jesse James.

Homo: Javier Bardem for supporting actor for best new way to kill people in a movie while wearing a twisted Beatle haircut.

Best Actress Award
Homo: Marion Cotillard gave by far the greatest performance of film in the last decade but god knows if they'll give it to her. If they don't, I'm going to put my fingers in my ears and go "La la la la" during the acceptance speech.

Hemo: Laura Linney, for her role as Miss Elizabeth in the "Macho Man" Randy Savage bio-pic, The Savages.

Best Supporting Actress
Homo: Supporting Actress should go to Amy Ryan for "Gone Baby Gone." Great, baby great. But it'll probably go to Ruby Dee cuz, well, it's Ruby
Dee. But frankly, I didn't like her in that movie.

Hemo: Cate Blanchett for I'm Not There, only because I wasn't there for any of the movies in this category.

Homo: Oh, you're probably right. By this time, it's obligatory to give Cate Blanchett an Oscar every time she sneezes on screen. But if you haven't seen any other movies, what have you seen?

Hemo: Rambo.

Homo: OK, that's it, I'm taking it from here.

Hemo: Have at it. But Rambo was good.

Homo: Best Animated Film is RATATOUILLE, a film that will outlive all the other movies made this year. Direction: No Country For Old Men. Hands down, a great piece of filmmaking.

Best Movie: No Country for Old Men. Driving, intense, brilliant.

Hemo: Best Action Movie: Rambo.

Homo: How about no action movies for old men, please? And if you're going to be a world famous film critic, you should try seeing a few movies.

The Hemo2Homo Connection's creators met online in 1996, and posted their first movie review in 1998. Both have been living with HIV for over twenty years, and have annoyed their friends and loved ones for longer than that. Steve Schalchlin resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is the author of My Pet Virus.

On Monday we met our new niece, Helayna. She was napping the whole time, just chillin' out. She didn't have "old-man baby-face", like most newborns. I complemented her on this.

Yesterday Gwenn and I drove up to Pennsylvania from Virginia to speak at Bucknell University. We'd been there years ago, when we first started speaking, and this time it was to just about the same amount of students: close to 1,000.

The one question we've gotten- without fail- is the question as to whether or not we can have kids. Once that is answered in the affirmative, thanks to sperm-washing, we tackle the question of whether we want to have kids. I crack a joke, Gwenn cracks a joke, and we usually settle on the long-off thought of getting a cat someday.

As of now, I don't think it will happen. The kid, not the cat. I love my life the way it is, and aspire to make the current model better, which includes educating with Gwenn about HIV, finishing my vampire book and continuing to write synthpop music.

But rationally thinking, there have been many things I thought I'd never do, the most shocking- to myself- of which was my decision to go public with HIV. At some point, we may want to change things up, particularly if we get bored of focusing so much of our attention on ourselves. (Speaking personally, I don't think that will happen. I'm somewhat self-absorbed if you haven't noticed.)

Still, I never count anything out. Life is much more fun if you let things come to you when you are ready. And right now? I'm more than happy to be an uncle again.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

Breaking News: I became an uncle for the 2nd time last night, when my brother and sis-in-law welcomed their 2nd child.

Here's a little vid I made a few years ago as a joke. It features my niece, Katelyn, with her baby doll. Let's all hope she's better at being a big sister than she was as a pretend mommie. :O)

Positively Delighted,

Shawn

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

It's somewhat of an empty salutation, because Gwenn and I don't really celebrate the occasion. When we first started dating, we opted to celebrate President's Day instead, because it falls around the same time and it was much easier to get dinner reservations that way.

Of course, Bush got elected and ruined that holiday for us.

Still, I want to share my Valentines for 2008...
First up, my friends and sexy rockers, Bella Morte. Check them out below in their music video for their song, "On the Edge":

Next up, Barack Obama... I know, I know. Enough Barack on the blog already. But wait, before you abandon me, you might want to revisit the American flag lapel pin story I wrote. The Comments Are Better Than The Story, btw. How could you not love the guy?

The Swiss. I've long been an admirer of their cheese and knives, and now I can add their minds to the list. A few of their experts recently issued a statement on HIV transmission that is controversial, but forward-thinking. Read it here. I won't be abandoning my condom anytime soon, but it's nice to hear good news about HIV as it pertains to sex and the positoids.

Of course, Gwenn. My lovely negatoid partner whom I spent Valentine's Day with in an airport this week, traveling home from UMass Dartmouth, where I met some new valentines, the UMass Dartmouth Peer Health Educators. I love peer health educators, they do the real work on campus, spreading the good info on safe sex. We're off tonight to speak to more peer health educators at a regional conference for Bacchus & Gamma.

Hope you and your own valentines have a great weekend.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

There's a bit of a ruckus over the mountain in Staunton, which is closer to Waynesboro, the Virginia town I grew up in.

It involves an adult DVD store and lots of lawyers, and is a huge case that could redefine the legality of adult videos and community standards. You can read more about it HERE and, more recently, HERE.

What caught my eye was the following quote from Staunton Commonwealth's Attorney, Ray Robertson: "There's a reason Staunton doesn't have an AIDS epidemic. We're a decent, moral community."

So there ya go. The cure for AIDS- or perhaps the illusive HIV vaccine itself?- is to shut down adult DVD stores. Breaking news from my old stomping grounds.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

My tainted blood is pumping red, white and blue. I know I'm not a politico, though politics have crept into this blog as of late. I'm just excited about the political landscape, and how engaged people are on all sides of the barbed-wire fence.

I support Obama, but I know there are folks who support the other candidates just as passionately. I didn't want to be an Obama Girl With AIDS, just posting my silly little blog and not doing anything substantial, so the last two days I've placed calls for the campaign.

Obama Girl didn't vote for Obama in the Jersey primary: she was hungover from a Super Bowl party two days earlier. Earlier, she slipped that she was actually for Hillary, who didn't get her vote, either. Look for Obama Girl in an upcoming American Legends Coin Collectors series.

It's pretty simple: you log on, create a profile much like MySpace, and you earn points by helping out. If you get enough points, you get a Joe Camel windbreaker. (Not true.) It's pretty awesome, though, cold-calling folks, and I really like being on the other end of that shit stick for a change.

"Hi, this is Shawn, I'm a volunteer for the Obama For America campaign..."

"I ain't interested!" *CLICK*

Out of 30 calls, I've probably had 5 conversations. Most of the time it's just as simple as leaving a message on someone's answering machine, reminding them that the primary is Tuesday and I'm calling as a shill for Barack.

Barack Obama, just before he announced that he was running.

Of course, the easiest thing about making these calls is when someone screams in glee when they hear Obama's name. "Yes!" It's cool to hear the enthusiasm, and I don't try to convert or kill the buzz when I encounter someone who feels the same way about another candidate. One of the reasons I like Obama is because he is respectful of the opposing political party and I, as a person with hemophilia and HIV, know that both Republicans and Democrats have stepped up to help my community, one that can easily fall through the cracks.

So, regardless of who you are voting for, if you live in Virginia, DC or Maryland, try to get out tomorrow (Tuesday) and vote in the Primary. If you don't know who you like, check out the Candidate Calculator.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

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In other news, Gwenn and I hit the road this week for another semester of speaking! If your school is interested in having us, just drop an email to info at aboyagirlavirus.com. Here's a video of us doing our thing.

All the symptoms are presenting themselves: an audacity of excessive hope, an accute deficiency of cynicism and unexplainable waves of enthusiasm.

Yes, I know if he is elected he'll have to endure the worst first-possibly-only-term a president could have. It's there for whoever wins, because you can't clean up a junkyard- or even try to- and come out smelling like roses. Sure, it sucks that the only antidote for Obamania is an Obama presidency.

Oh well, I'll still take that medicine.

What do Hulk Hogan and I have in common? 24-inch pythons and a case of Obamania.

Those labs were taken at the tail end of a week off meds. It's one of the few times in eight years on meds that the VL has been detectable. I'm not worried, since it was such a low blip. Doesn't mean I'm in any imminent danger, at worst it means that if repeated tests show an increase in viral load, then I may have to switch meds.

I doubt that will happen.

What I am curious about is finding out how Obamania has affected those rising t-cells.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

PS... the issues are what matters, find out which candidate agrees with you, and then vote for them.

So there was a guy who wanted to open a bar in Tempe, was denied a liquor license, and to protest that decision he wanted to kill football fans at the Super Bowl.

You can read the story here. It's hardly amusing, and thankfully he didn't go through with his attempt to prove that he could handle the pressures of unlimited access to beer. What is funny is that locals opposed the liquor license because they heard that his Halloween-themed bar was going to be called "DRUNKENSTEIN'S".

Killing people? Bad idea. Naming a bar "Drunkenstein's"? Great idea.

In other news, vaunted businessman and multigazillionaire presidential candidate Mitt Romney is now out of the race...

I can't help but piece these two stories together. Even though I don't drink too often, I am absolutely in love with the idea of Drunkenstein's lining every street in America and, in my opinion, Romney's the only guy whose got the business chops and the free time to make it happen.

I hope you'll drink to that plan.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

Have you heard about these "superdelegates"? They have a lot of pull, and could really tip the balance in who gets the nomination in each party.

I'll break it down for you.

In each state, one person- a very powerful person- gets "Super Delegate" status. You probably haven't heard about any of this, because it is all kept very quiet, for national security/citizen safety issues. I'm risking my health by revealing these superdelegates for the first time. And you could be risking yours by reading this blog, and gaining access to this delicate information.

Below you'll find the top secret Super Delegates for the states of...

CALIFORNIA!

ALASKA!

NEW MEXICO!

NEW JERSEY!

MONTANA! (A child for God's sake!)

Positively Yours,

Shawn

The New York Giants did it!

I probably lost some t-cells over that game, watching Giants slip in the endzone, drop footballs, flip them into Patriots open arms. But all the while they hung in there. Plus, Eli Manning is engaged to his college sweatheart, and Tom Brady- who chickened out on getting his legs lopped off- is dating Giselle Budngendkingsinton.

Now on to the next underdog: Barack Obama. I'm not sure if he's actually an underdog at this point, but I do hope he fairs as well as the Giants did tomorrow.

Before I go on, I have to say I'm not a Hillary hater. And I do have a fondness for the Clinton presidency. I wasn't following politics too closely when Bill took office- I was 17- but five years later I was stunned to find my way into the White House on World AIDS Day, 2007.

Along with a handful of teen HIV/AIDS educators, most had started groups at their high schools, I met then AIDS Czar Sandra Thurman and Vice President Al Gore through the White House's Office on AIDS. At 22, I was the oldest guest there, and the only positoid, and I'd hardly scratched the surface of my educational work at that point.

Still, just being invited into the White House validated my desire to change attitudes about those living with HIV. Being thanked by my government for my role in the fight against AIDS... those were the days.

That trip to DC was an important moment. My adult life was really beginning to take form, ten years after the 1987 diagnosis that was supposed to kill me before I could drive.

Having written that, I stand by my feeling that this country can be run by more than two families. Since 1980, a Bush or Clinton has been in the White House, for better or worse. I think, for lack of a better word, it's time for a change.

Barack Obama, he's my Manning in the game. And I hope he goes all the way.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

Did you hear the story of the Olympic hopeful and double-amputee, Oscar Pistorius? He's been banned from competing in the Olympics due to an unfair, mechanical advantage.

Here's a video of "The Blade Runner", as they call him, smoking a bunch of feeble-bodied sausage-legs.

I'm sure the Olympics are worried about the Johnny Knoxvilles of the world removing their legs, to the cackling besumement of their friends, and then triumphing with a gold medal. But hey, if baseball players can get hopped up on roids and break records, then why can't hopeful runners up the ante, too?

Oscar could lead the way to the inevitable future, and he would do so as someone who actually lost his legs due to no fault/strategy of his own.

As you've seen from my previous sports predictions, I'm not afraid to go out on a limb, for lack of a better phrase. And with the biggest U.S. sporting event taking place tomorrow, I've been racking my brains, weighing every intangible imagineable, including the astonishing capacity of Bill Belichick's diabolical mind.

People think that Tom Brady is faking a leg injury, to lower expectations or give the Giants a false sense of security. I think Tom Brady, the star quarterback for the New England Patriots, has been transformed into a bladerunner.

The command came down from the top. Belichick will stop at nothing, and neither will his glazed-over general, Brady. And that's why I predict the Patriots will defeat the Giants at the Super Bowl.

Brady will rush for 1,372 yards in a stunning spectacle: a 138-10 victory.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

In 2005, I didn't have a book deal. Or an agent to find me one. The only thing I had was a few files on my computer called "My Pet Virus: The Book" and a dream.

(And HIV.)

Still, I was looking ahead of the book and dreaming of the story on the big screen: and on the Movies Section on the MySpace page I wrote about MPV: The Movie, starring James Van Der Beek, turning in a stirring performance, as Shawn Decker.

"DECKER! YOU GOT AIDS AND AN ATTITUDE!

...but you also got the best damn throwin' arm this coach has ever seen."

It's only in the beginning stages of what is sure to be a lengthy process, but it's cool that this is out there, floating around. Whether others feel inspired, or find the story worthy of being birthed into that format, well that is totally out of my control.

And I'm cool with that. Just the other day I got a message from someone who just completed a high school book report on My Pet Virus. It's out there, floating around. And I love that.

So now, with the fantasy that much closer to a reality, I've gone back to fantasizing about who would play me in MPV: The Movie, and I've come up with someone who is even more worthy than James Van Der Beek: and that is Bruce Willis.

Too old, you say? Nonsense.

One need only to go rent The Kid, starring Mr. Willis himself, to be convinced that he is the man for the job. In The Kid they didn't put make-up on him, and Bruce didn't have the boyish qualities that made Martin Short shine as Clifford.

In 1992, Martin Short delighted- and terrified- audiences with his portrayal of the meddlesome 10-year old, Clifford

Of course, to Van Der Beek's representatives, should they pick up this blog on a Google Alert: I'm open to suggestions. Perhaps he could play my big brother, Kip?

Positively Yours,

Shawn

PS... Can you imagine the Hemo2Homo Review of My Pet Virus: The Movie?