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April 2008 Archives

Can You Tell By Looking?

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Some people think they can tell someone has HIV by looking at them. It's a big myth, and the folks at www.mtvu.com have done something about it. Check out their new site, PosOrNot.com, which features positoids (HIV positive folks) and negatoids (HIV negative folks) and a guessing game.



If you scroll through long enough, you might see my handsome mug. If you guess wrong, then you haven't been paying much attention to this blog. Here's a clue...

Positively Yours,
Shawn

State of Emergency

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Parts of Virginia were hit by tornadoes yesterday, injuring over 200 people. My thoughts go out to any fellow Virginians in the areas affected south of Williamsburg.


I've been a little out of touch since getting back from L.A., writing away in my secret bunker locales. Not only have I been away from the blog, but I've also been out of touch with the fam.


Last night, my bro called me on it- it being the telephone.


"Hey brother, it's your brother- haven't heard from you in awhile, just making sure you're still alive." I sometimes forget that writers with AIDS can only disappear for so long when going into seclusion, before people start to get worried.


I called him back- he was bowling. He's not worried about me anymore.


-------


In terms of AIDS and politics, I have to say I'm worried about Obama's former minister, Reverend Wright. The infamous Wright quote, "God damn, America!", is the one that gets all the attention, but what bugs me is the recent interviews, and how Wright said Obama is just "doing what politicians do."


He's giving all the wrong soundbites, and now it's McCain, Hillary and Obama's former pastor, all piling on. Personally, I think the 37 he scored in bowling triggered all of this, but that's just my crackpot theory.


Most have seen the videos of the Rev., ranting and raving. Below is a video you may not have seen yet...




Reverend Wright getting an HIV test.


In it, Wright mentions that young, heterosexual African American women are the leading group of people being infected by HIV. What he didn't mention is that it is the leading cause of death among that group as well.


Oh, and he called someone a "retard" in the video above, too. If Corky from Life Goes On is still alive, I expect him to join McCain, Hillary and Wright in the Kick-Obama-In-The-Balls congo line.


corky.jpg

OK, I just did a search- Chris Burke is alive and well. Phew!

But yes, HIV is the leading cause of death among African American women.


I support Obama, because I sincerely believe that he would be progressive in his handling of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, not only in the United States- where he supports condoms in prisons- but abroad as well, where many of the U.S.'s well-meaning, misguided policies have reversed successful anti-HIV campaigns. (Uganda being one.)


Just the other day, McCain said Obama was out of touch with poor people. Well, McCain is out of touch with people with AIDS. He didn't know, as of last year, whether a condom helps prevent transmission.


HIV/AIDS would not be at the top of President McCain's agenda.


As for Reverend Wright, he is playing a very dangerous game with the media. He can laugh, and grab the headlines with zingers, and soak up the spotlight, damaging Obama in the process. Whether that damage is justified doesn't matter.


Damage is damage.


And, when it's said and done, and everyone has forgotten all about this, the pastor can come out of retirement. And every December, he can observe World AIDS Day. And give out free HIV tests, and state the same statistic, year after year, bemoaning the government's response to the epidemic.


The thought of it all is enough to send me back into seclusion.


Positively Yours,

Shawn


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Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.

East Carolina University

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Immediately after flying back to Virginia from L.A., Gwenn and I got in our car and headed down to East Carolina University... well, not exactly immediately.


The flight landed at 9 at night, but when the bus dropped us off at the economy parking, we weren't quite sure where we parked, though we had it narrowed down to a 200-foot square radius.


Which isn't bad really. At the first hunch, I told the bus driver to drop us off and, what do ya know, there was the car- right in our line of sight. But when we tried to use the keychain Unlock button, it didn't work.


"We're screwed," Gwenn said, noticing that one of the backdoors was closed enough lock, but open enough to have let the battery die. No biggie, we called the airport and they sent a nice guy in a truck over to give us a jump.


We got to just outside of Greenville, then called it a night at the Sleep Inn. How they can call it the Sleep Inn with an 11 a.m. check out is beyond me, especially when most check outs are at noon. But again, they were nice, and we got an extra late check out- for a price- since we didn't have to hit the road until 3 p.m.


East Carolina University brought Gwenn and I in to speak for World AIDS Day 2006, and someone asked me about the Kenneth Cole thing. See, last time we spoke there was two days before my infamous meeting with Kenneth, I remember talking to the staff about the publicity stunt when I was just an innocent, wide-eyed positoid, unknowing of what awaited me in the big bad city...


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But I digress. This time we did our secondary program at ECU, entitled "Bugs in the Bedroom". It's more of a general STI program- I don't even disclose my HIV status until the end, as a big shocking finale.


One thing that happened during the program, however, was a bit shocking. I had to retire a joke because of the sensitive nature...


See, we do these condom races, pitting two guys against two girls. It's a race to see who can put a condom on a fake penis the fastest. The first two go, and then we talk about who was fastest and who did it correctly.


The next pair what, and I crack a joke about, "This time... we see who can put the condom on the fastest... with their mouth!" It's a raucous joke, and usually I can tell the guy it's a joke pretty quickly. But this gentleman in particular lost his shit.


It's not that my delivery was that good- no one used to believe that I was serious abotu this, uh, gag- but now, as I'm finishing book number 2, I've grown some facial hair.


Which makes me look like I mean business. See?



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WIth Azure in Los Angeles at The Galaxy Gallery gig. (more pics and vid coming!)

Order was restored, and I calmed him down and assured him that wasn't the intent. But man o' man, for like two seconds there I thought I was going to be calling the local hemophilia chapter for some clotting factor.


Overall, the program isn't the well-oiled machine like "A Boy, A Girl, A Virus", which is more about my relationship with Gwenn, but it is fun and educational. A well-needed boost for the condom in an age of abstinence-only education.


We just haven't done "Bugs" as much over the years, and I sometimes forget how much shaping we did with "Boy, Girl, Virus", where little things had to get taken out to keep the focus where it needed to be. It can't be understated how a few fake penises- one that measures over a foot long- can turn a public speaking engagement into a potentially combustible element.


Thanks to everyone at East Carolina University for inviting us to speak, and taking sexual health on. As for taking things on, I might not be blogging for a couple of days, since I have a Monday deadline to finish the new book. So wish me luck, I hope to have some news on that front in the coming months.


Positively Yours,

Shawn

PS... The L.A. blog is coming next week!
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Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.

Bowling for Obama

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The trip to Los Angeles was incredible, but since I'm sitting in a hotel trying to get everything together, I thought I'd wait till I could upload a few pics to tell the story.


bamabowling.jpgIn the meantime, I have to address an issue I've ignored until now: Barack Obama's bowling. Much was made of the fact that he bowling a 37. I support Obama, yet I come from a long line of bowlers. I think this could be the issue that Republicans use against him in the election.


Bowling is a sacred institution, far more important than the economy in the grand scheme of things. There is a bowling alley in the friggin' White House, the only reason why that shit job sounds appealing to me. But I can see the political ads now, suggesting that Obama will rip up the bowling alley and replace it with a basketball court. The number 37 will be splashed on billboards all across the heartland.


But it's not too late!


Obama is athletic, but it's way too late to teach him how to change his form. Plus, he has bigger things to worry about, and the last Prez to resign in disgrace- Nixon- was a great bowler.


bowlingforobama.jpg

photo by Julius Tolentino


I recently saw the photo above -of a bowling fundraiser for the Miss Virginia Organization- and I thought... what if African American pageant queens went into bowling centers all across America to assure voters that Barack is a decent fellow, even if he can't bowl?


Tomorrow is the Pennsylvania primary- this strategy is too late to have an effect there, but I think the Obama camp should definitely consider the prospect.


Good luck tomorrow, Obama!


Positively Yours,

Shawn

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Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.

Last night I finally worked up the courage to open the box, having checked the neon Synthetic Division sign with the airlines. (UPS did a fine job packing it, the sign was safe and sound.)


And tonight is the big night! So if you are in or around Los Angeles, come see me play at the Galaxy Gallery on Melrose. Show starts at 10 p.m.


7224 Melrose Ave Los Angeles, CA 90046 Phone: (323) 938-6505 (Mid-city west!)


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I wanted to get a cool pic of the sign, unplugged, with the city behind it. But all you can see is the sign and Gwenn's bathrobe- the water in the shower went out on her. She was none to happy to accomodate in the taking of this terrible picture. (On second thought, it was a little breezy out on the patio.)


We got this hotel on Priceline... room service for 2 eggs? $22! No, we didn't get the eggs. Well, we did at a diner the next day for $1.99.


Will blog more after the show.


Positively Yours,

Shawn

Bill Pullman

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I think I saw him at lunch today...

While I was eating.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

pullman.jpg
".... Check, please?"

In L.A. this Saturday

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It's true, Synthetic Division is heading to L.A. My longtime pal, Josh, whom I wrote about in My Pet Virus, is filling in for Marshall, the keyman for Synthetic Division.


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Today I was being pretentious and writing at a coffee shop when Gwenn called. "Hey, I have a crazy idea- you have to talk me out of it." I'm all for crazy ideas, so I was intrigued. "I want to get the neon sign to L.A... is that stupid?"


No! It's not! Expensive? Probably. But hell, how many times does a boy get to play in L.A.? And what's a Synthetic Division show without the third, unofficial member, anyway? It would be like seeing Van Halen without Roth, or Wings without McCartney, or American Idol without the magic that was Sanjaya.


It would feel so weird to sing the song "Sign" without the sign back there, glowing it's magnificent glow.


By the way- the set is happening this Saturday, at 10 PM at The Galaxy Gallery on Melrose.


Gotta admit, I'm bummed that Steve of the Hemo2Homo Connection is traveling while I'm going to be on his stomping grounds... we could have really gone to a movie together, and talked through the whole thing because we can. Because we have AIDS and we are the H2H.


But, in all honesty, the reason for booking the trip in the first place wasn't to ruin a movie-goer's experience, or to rock out some synthpop on Melrose. It is to meet the guy who is currently writing the screenplay for My Pet Virus: the Movie. We've spoken on the phone and been in contact via email, he's a very cool guy and I'm excited to hear what he has to say about how it's coming along.


I just hope he's writing with Bruce Willis in mind, that's all. I still say that's the only guy who can play Shawn Decker on the big (or little) screen.


Speaking of little screens, here's so movie-making magic I've captured in recent months. This first vid was at the airport in Charlotte, one of modern-day times most ridiculous spectacles.







Cops on Segways are pretty awesome, huh?


Here's a little vid of Gwenn and I at the University of Arizona back in December, when we were traveling for World AIDS Day. If the above video explains why Law Enforcement recruitment is down, the video below shows why Gwenn and I don't have the chops to play ourselves in My Pet Virus: The Movie...







I'll get some vid of the Synthetic Division show this Saturday to share as well. While I'm on the road, I'll probably be micro-blogging on Twitter, which is fun because I can lazily do so from my cell. So feel free to swing by there if this post starts to get a little moldy in the next few days.


Positively Yours,

Shawn
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Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids. That would be incredible if My Pet Virus the movie ended with my victory of Mr. Cole.

High School Confidential

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Is anyone else watching this show on WE? Gwenn and I have been- it's a documentary about teens in Kansas, producers followed 12 girls for 4 years of high school.


90210.jpg
I'm not sure if the show is getting a lot of buzz, but as sex educators even Gwenn and I were shocked that, thus far, there have been four unplanned pregnancies. How each family dealt with the news was totally unique.


Tonight, in terms of sexual decision-making, we finally saw a "happy ending", no pun intended when Crystle waited until she was ready her senior year of high school- she was on birth control and her boyfriend used a condom. (Sorry pervs, this was only revealed in an interview by the subjects of the documentary.)


In fact, in telling her story, Crystle joked that she was worried that the candles she set up for mood were going to catch her hair on fire. With proper sex education that should be the only thing people are worried about catching during their first time.


Positively Yours,

Shawn


PS... check your local listings for airtime and channel... highly recommended viewing!


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I'll be in Los Angeles THIS Saturday, April 19, at the Galaxy Gallery on Melrose playing a Synthetic Division gig. Music starts at 10 p.m.

Thanks to Clayton State University for having us on campus to- gasp!- talk about sex! If you'd like for Gwenn and I to speak at your campus, just drop me a line.

Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.

For two years I've walked/hobbled the AIDS Walk NY with Team Supersnack, a ragtag band of do-gooders from all across the United States.


kenneth.jpgEvery year, it's been a fun experience. But this year, I have a bone to pick... with Kenneth Cole. His team finished in the 16th spot, $35,884. Just beating out Supersnack, who cracked the Top 20 at number 19, with $33,091. Like Kenneth Cole Productions, Supersnack now has Gold Team status.


And I have Kenneth in my sights.


You may remember, that on World AIDS Day 2006, Gwenn and I raised awareness for HIV/AIDS with Kenneth by staging a Bed-In in his storefront window at Grand Central. I blogged about it, if you want a refresher. In short, he thought that we needed to make-out heavily for the smattering of media to get more out of the publicity stunt, and we politely declined.


Since then, our paths haven't crossed. Until I noticed last year's numbers... I'm thinking that, if I outraise him, I can leverage that victory into getting Kenneth to make out with his wife in the window-seat of Gwenn and I's townhome here in Charlottesville.


Help me defeat Kenneth.


Sure, he does a lot of fundraising and awareness for HIV. But I actually have AIDS, that's gotta count for something, right?


Positively Yours,

Shawn



Check out my music, Synthetic Division, LIVE: Saturday, April 19 in Los Angeles (The Galaxy on Melrose).

 


The Hemo2Homo Connection Movie Review

21-movie-poster-kevin-spacey-kate-bosworth.jpg




21movie.jpgHomo: I know we decided to see this movie because it's the 21st anniversary of your pet virus, but I didn't spend my hours counting cards. I spent them counting the minutes I would never get back. I'm beginning to think that anything these days with Kevin Spacey is sure to suck.


 


Hemo:  Damn, I haven't bought my ticket yet- I'm thinking about folding this hand.  The prequel craze is on tilt, anyway, and I for one do not need to know what happened before Jim Carrey's 23, thank you very much. 

Homo:  No, bleeder.  This one is based on a true story -- a book I read and enjoyed. But Hollywood took out all the reality.




Hemo:  Isn't that what Hollywood's there for?




Homo:  21 is about a numbers genius from MIT who gets co-opted into becoming a member of a gang of card counters, one of which is the sexiest girl in school...


 


crips01.jpg

Hemo:  I bet the Crips were shaking in their boots.




Homo:  This gang flies over Compton on their way to Vegas, where they enjoy weekends of winning lots of money for Kevin Spacey.  You can always count on Hollywood to make something better than reality. 


 


Hemo:  So why on Earth would a gang of pale-faces make money for Kevin Spacey?


 


Homo:  Because he needs the dead Benjamins for Harvard and, apparently, the poor genius doesn't know how to fill out a form for a student loan.


 


Hemo:  Well, he was probably too old to get a basketball scholarship.


 


Homo:  What? No, nimrod: Kevin Spacey is the professor leading the gang, not a student member of the gang. It's the boy who becomes seduced by Vegas.




pokerchips.jpg

Hemo:  What about the sexy girl?




Homo:  They have a G-Rated love scene.


 


Hemo:  Let me guess... it happens in a hot tub at the Palms?  I already saw that on the Real (Lame) World.  So life is good for the pretty boy gang member, and... 




Homo:  Until he finally- shocker!- has a real bad night at the tables...




Hemo:  ...and gets obsessed with the number 21, right?  He puts all of Kevin Spacey's winnings -- plus everything he owns and cares about -- on the number 21 on the Roulette wheel... it spins, the ball pops around... and then... BAM!  The number 23 comes up.  Jim Carrey is the pit boss, you have to see the movie twenty-one times to notice him in the background, hence the name of the film.


 


Homo:  Then Laurence Fishburn ties him to a chair and beats him up.



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Hemo:  The Crips to the rescue!  I'm about to move All-In on this one and buy that ticket.  It's the only way I'll understand 22 when it comes out.




Homo:  No! Cash out now!  Although 21 really makes me wonder what they'd do with our inspiring, real-life story of two guys with AIDS reviewing movies.  And how we'd have to promote it: Did you see that Jim Carrey had to dress in an elephant outfit at American Idol to promote Horton Hears a Who?



Hemo:  I missed that major step down from talking out of one's bunghole.  I bet Hollywood would call our story Homo Hears a Hemo.  It would be about a world of gay men who ignore the plight of the platelet-challenged...

Homo:  ... until the pink homo with big ears- me!- stands by his side.  Craddling the fragile hemo close to his chest.

Hemo:   Yes!  Brother to brother, they stand back to back, fending off the haters and counting out their life-saving HIV pills instead of cards.

Homo:  And Hollywood film producers would count their cash and continue the fine tradition of turning a great book into a crappy film. 


 


Hemo:  Speaking of great books, our review of The Hours really made My Pet Virus.  Now available at your local bookstore!


 


Homo:  Sales a bit slow?


 


Hemo:  You nailed it.  So, what's your final say on the movie 21?  Do you think people without AIDS will respond the same way you did? 

Homo:  Yes.  And I'd rather play Russian Roulette in a giant pink elephant costume then have to see this one again.


hemo2homo.jpg

The Hemo2Homo Connection are Shawn Decker and Steve Schalchlin.


The Hemo2Homo Connection's creators met online in 1996, and posted their first movie review in 1998. Both have been living with HIV for over twenty years, and have annoyed their friends and loved ones for longer than that.  Steve Schalchlin resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is an HIV/AIDS educator and the author of My Pet Virus.

Bean Me Up, Hottie

| 1 Comment

On April Fools' Day, the only joke that came through was from Steve of the Hemo2Homo Connection. If you missed his Comment, check this out:

"Shawn, I'm your psychiatrist and I have to inform you that you're not actually a heterosexual. Please come to the office so we can take care of this immediately. There's no time to waste."

The problem with Steve's joke is that he's so old, that he forget that he'd used the same joke twelve years ago when we met online. I won't go into details about how that played out, all I will say is that this time I was ready. It probably helped that I had diabolical April Fools' Day plans of my own.

My friend, Irvin, runs a coffee shop downtown called Java Java. His lovely baristas, Lisa and Jenny, helped me pull this gag off by letting me know where Irvin was. Gwenn (who knows the deal, since she worked as Pluto at Disney one summer during college) got all the materials, and we hired a friend to put it together when we hit our first roadblock online, discovering that these costumes sell for $900! As I stood in front of the shop, holding my sign, I felt an inner peace that I've never known before... have I wasted my first thirty-two years of life? A Barbara Walters Special discussed the scientific prospects of living to the age of 150. In modern times, Ric Flair just wrestled until the age of 59... So I could spend over a century as "Bean Bean", making children smile and forcing adults to awkwardly say hello as they make eye contact with big, white painted-on eyes. I'm taken, of course, but I get a lot of questions from positoids about dating woes. Now I can provide a simple answer: Bean Costume. (Men and women alike seem way into it.)

Positively Yours,
Shawn

 

Today is April Fools' Day. A day in which the inner-prankster in all of us is awakened and universally accepted. But, if you have a friend with HIV, you really have to be careful with just how far you go.

Don't get me wrong- positoids like to enjoy a good, hearty laugh just as much as the next Joe. But when pranking a pal with HIV today, there is one joke you should try to avoid.

"The False Positive"
Pretending to be a doctor and leaving a voicemail telling your HIV positive friend that records show that there has been a big mistake and, in fact, they were a "false positive" (meaning they tested positive for HIV, but subsequent tests reveal that they are HIV negative) is a big no-no.

If you are a positoid, watch out for this one today.

Happy pranking!

Positively Yours,
Shawn



Speaking

Shawn & Gwenn
Since 2000, Shawn and Gwenn have been speaking about sexual health together, sharing their personal story and empowering others to be safe. If you are interested in having them speak at your event, fill out the Contact Us form.
 

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This page is an archive of entries from April 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

March 2008 is the previous archive.

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