July 2009 Archives

Last night I saw my favorite band, Depeche Mode, in concert.  And after the first encore, Gwenn and I left (missing out on "Personal Jesus" and "Waiting for the Night") so we could be beat the traffic.  It's called the "Pull Out Concert Method".

It wasn't because the show was bad, we just wanted to get our kicks on Route 29 for the 1 1/2 hour drive home.  Yes, Gwenn and I are getting old.  Or smart.  You decide.



Missing out on the bumper-to-bumper traffic was awesome, and so was the show, of course.  As it always does at a DM show, it hit me that I'm still here to see my favorite band 19 years after that Make-A-Wish encounter.  It's not that I think I won't make it to the next tour, it's just that this band's music is so interconnected with those early years of my diagnosis, a bond that was sealed when they were my "dying wish". Now, it was a bit different. 

I'm not surprised so much at my own survival as I am at theirs.  They are still here, in an industry that is dying, a synthpop act from Basildon can still draw 15,000 people.  And it was lead singer Dave Gahan's health problems over the last few months that would have prevented me from seeing them in concert, not my own "pets".

I've vowed that as long as they are touring, and I am breathing, I will be there when Depeche Mode hits the road.  Even if it means hitting the road prematurely to get back home to the incredible, adult life that I've been so fortunate to live to see.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

One of the HIV/AIDS community's heroes, Ethan Zohn, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease earlier this Spring.  You might know Ethan as the winner of Survivor Africa in 2002- he became famous for having a great attitude and cool hair before he became famous for winning the reality show and a million dollars.

He became a hero to positoids when he used those winnings to start an HIV awareness charity, Grassroot Soccer, that uses to love for soccer in Africa to help educate children about the virus.  Basically, in a time when HIV/AIDS wasn't cool anymore, Ethan Zohn shined a spotlight on the epidemic and discussed why it was still important- and preventable.

In terms of Ethan's health scare, he's tackling cancer with the same attitude that helped him win Survivor and countless admirers post-Survivor.  In this week's People (look for that Twilight guy's hair on the cover, ironically), Ethan shows off his hairless post-chemo head and says: "If I can make cancer a little less scary for people, I think that's pretty cool."

Last Saturday night on his Twitter page, he put it this way.

"I just laughed in cancers face, kicked him in the balls, twisted his nipple, pulled out his backhair and gave him a wedgie. Today is great."

Ethan may have learned some of those moves from his girlfriend, Jenna Morasca, who won Survivor Amazon and recently entered the world of pro wrestling in TNA (Total Nonstop Action wrestling).  The Gods of Cool just keep smiling down on Ethan, and even after cancer, he keeps smiling back out at the rest of us.  Ethan just finished chemotherapy, and has documented his feelings, triumphs and trials at People.com.  Also, be sure to look him up on Facebook, and post some well-wishes to someone who has gone the extra mile in raising money and awareness for HIV/AIDS.







Here he is going the extra extra mile last year, dribbling a soccer ball from Massachusetts to Washington D.C. from August until December, tearing his ACL in the process.  Keep on kicking those soccer balls, as well as cancer's testicles, Ethan.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

Yesterday was a huge milestone in my life- Decker's Daily Coffee did what few other Watch-Me-Drink-Coffee sites have been able to do. It reached 100 episodes! Or 100 pictures, really.

And nearly daily, too!

I'm so excited to read the hundreds and hundreds of comments about what your favorite episode/picture has been thus far.  Just remember, all debates that erupt should remain civil.  You may think Shawn with the AIDS Bear is the best, while another person may argue that the suspense of Who Killed Shawn? carries the most artistic weight.

Me?  My personal favorite has to be Shawn's Great Grandfather's Daily.  It's actually me, but the vintage feel of this photo in Episode 18 really raised the bar.  18 photos is usually when most Watch-Me-Drink-Coffee sites start to lose their steam, so it's especially satisfying to know that this was the moment when Decker's Daily really hit its stride.

To celebrate, I'm going to let you know about McDonald's Mocha Mondays.  7 am until 7 pm on Mondays, you can get a free iced mocha. Hurry, this deal ends in August!  But don't forget about your local coffee shops, hit McDonald's up in addition.  Then you can see how much better the good stuff is.

Not into coffee?  Then enjoy this YouTube video... yes, I'm going crazy with the videos, but this has to be one of my all-time favorites.  I won't even try to Rickroll you- what you are about to see is a video of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" combined with "Never Gonna Give You Up".

Here's another new YouTube video, this one is of me and Gwenn speaking.  Not just, like, speaking to each in the comfort of our own home, but out and about spreading awareness about HIV/AIDS and sexual health.

It's what we do- check it out!

Positively Yours,
Shawn

I'm terrible at following up, but the benefit that I did with my band on July 11 was a success- the show went well and we raised $600 for the AIDS Walk Washington DC.  Thanks to everyone who came out to support the cause!

Playing the show was a lot of fun.  My band did two covers; Tori Amos' "Raspberry Swirl" and Depeche Mode's "Halo", from their 1990 album Violator, which they were touring to support when I met them through the Make-A-Wish Foundation.  A couple of months before the benefit, Marshall (jamming out on the synth in the vid below) suggested "Halo" as a potential cover and programmed the song to perfection.

Here's a clip from the benefit show, and our version of "Halo" with me rambling for a few seconds at the beginning... (Thanks, Stephanie, for posting the video!)





For my birthday, Gwenn got us tickets to go see Depeche Mode on their current tour, which is the best present ever.  Thanks to Gwenn for being the best partner a person could ask for, and a true Wish come true.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

If you're on Facebook check out the newly created Shawn and Gwenn Page.  Become a fan, so we has more than 3.  See below for the funny grammar, and why I didn't use "have" instead of "has".

The storied history of my Make-A-Wish Foundation encounter with Depeche Mode at age 14 has been well documented on this blog, yet the picture is too cool not to post every time I reference this proud moment in my life.

That's me in the white hat- you can't see it, but it says "Surfin' USA" on it.  Yes, I regret wearing it to meet the Beatles of electronic music.

This meeting was in 1990.  By the mid-90's, lead singer Dave Gahan was battling a massive drug problem, and it looked like I was in danger of outliving my wishee. Since then, I've gotten more comfortable with the prospect of outliving Dave, figuring we'll both kick the bucket from natural causes after living fruitful, happy lives.  Another thing I've figured is that, every three or four years, Depeche Mode will be touring, and I'll get to go see them.

On their most recent tour, however, Dave has had some health issues. Nothing drug related- he's been clean for years now-, just a bombardment of malfunctions that included a bladder tumor and, more, recently a torn calve muscle.  Needless to say, it's been a rough tour cycle for the Depeche Mode frontman.

So it is with much sincerity that I wish Dave a speedy recovery.  He was very kind in 1990, and very kind again in 2001 when I was able to get that original photo signed.  From a Make-A-Wish kid, I'm sending positive healing vibes your way.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

I woke up earlier than usual this morning, to find age 34 hovering over me at bedside.  I said, "Is this how it's going to be, mid-30's?"  It didn't answer.  "OK, well, if you have any questions, just ask AIDS what it's like having ol' Decker kicking your ass."

I rolled out of bed and didn't look back.  Though I've only made it to the kitchen for a glass of water and the computer to type this. 
If you want to follow my birthday journey, pop on over to my Twitter page.   I've already secured a Decker's Daily coffee sponsorship (Thanks Scott Kramer!) for myself and Gwenn, so you can see me drink coffee.  In true positoid fashion, I have an appointment with Dr. Greg today, just to make sure the long goodbye of my wispy cough isn't something to be worried about.

But overall, I feel great.  I'm so thankful to be officially mid-thirty.  I have no hang-up about aging; none whatsoever.  The fact that I'm excited that Gwenn and I painted the kitchen- and it looks good!- is nice.  Pride in home doesn't mean just the aesthetics, it's about everything we've been through individually and as a couple that has made this place a home.

I like birthdays that have a round number attached to them.  For instance, a friend rang in his 50th two days ago- he's in great shape, is happy and is one of the kindest people I know.  Being HIV positive, and deciding to speak about that at 20, had the great effect of bringing many people of vastly different ages and life experiences into my life.  I learned quickly that living with HIV for over a decade was not uncommon, and that being in your 40's wasn't "old".

Not by a long shot.

In my recent column, there was an editorial mistake that mentioned that I'd lived 1/3 of my life as a positoid.  This b-day actually pushes me over the 2/3 mark, since my HIV diagnosis was at age 11.  On top of that, this birthday is special because it marks 10 years since the AIDS diagnosis; a moment that, in my earlier years, I suspected would be the end.

In reality, that was just the beginning.  I'd just moved to Charlottesville, gotten this townhome and met Gwenn.  And now I'm up earlier than usual, and I'm hungry, so I'm going to go get something to eat and enjoy this day.  In the wideview, I'm thankful to still be living, still be blogging, and that so many people have stopped by on Facebook and Twitter to wish me a happy birthday. 

Life is good.  And I owe my good fortune to love, friendship, good timing and luck.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

THE BRUNO REVIEW

HOMO: I know why you wanted to see this.  Big homosexual terrorizes the public at large! It's because you thought it was a horror film -- "Saw" for straight men.

HEMO:  Actually I thought Bruno was the a wrestling biopic for Bruno Sammartino.  When I found out it wasn't, I decided not to go.

HOMO: You flaked on me again?

HEMO: I was totally busy this past weekend, playing an HIV benefit with my synthpop trio.  MAC artists were there, and they totally made me up in guyliner, check it out.

HOMO: Mmmmm, hmmmm... say, what band did you meet through the Make-A-Wish Foundation back in 1990?  Was that Guns N' Roses?  Motley Crue?  Bananarama?

HEMO: No, Depeche Mode.  What are you getting at?

HOMO: Well, I don't want to say you look a little gay or anything, but not even Bruno wore that much eyeliner... When I first heard that there would be this insane movie about a totally exaggerated, offensive gay stereotype running around scaring straight people, I was waiting for the scene where he asks Carrie Prejean about gay marriage and then calls her names in an insane rant equal only to "Leave Britney alone."

HEMO: Leave Hemo alone!

HOMO: But it wasn't Perez Hilton they were talking about- it was that fake Austrian oversexed sissy who once asked a skinhead, "Are there any of you who aren't gay?"

HEMO:  Not even Bruno Sammartino would say that to a skinhead.

HOMO: I thought, "What could Bruno do that's worse than Perez, a guy who makes Ross the Intern look like Johnny Carson?"

HEMO: Wait- did the Latoya Jackson scene make it in?  He asked her to talk like Michael because that way he could say he interviewed the legend. 

HOMO: NO! See what I mean? This is Bruno Lite. They took that scene out.  It doesn't matter.  After seeing the film, I realized that it has the same plot as the Kathy Griffin Show, trying to get famous every week, except Life on the D List is much, MUCH gayer.

HEMO: That's one of my favorites.  On the most recent episode, she went off on Reagan for not saying "AIDS" for so long after someone gave her a jelly bean. 

HOMO:  See, she's a lot funnier than Bruno, who's a bit of a hum ho.  I mean if you're gonna do shock comedy, does anyone really think that Bruno is even REMOTELY as outrageous as Divine...

HEMO: What does that hooker that Hugh Grant banged a decade ago have to do with this?

HOMO:  Okay, maybe you're not gay, thinblood.  John Waters' Divine, who picked up a piece of dog crap and ate it, and who had a character who chained lesbians in a basement so she could sell the babies.

My biggest problem with Bruno is that very few of the people they ridicule are showing homophobia. Most of them are just reacting to someone putting a dildo in their face in public, or  someone would trade a baby for an iPod. You don't have to be homophobic to hate that. I don't know who he's skewering.

Or does it matter?

HEMO:  It matters.  I would have been there on opening night if his MTV Movie Awards show stunt with Eminem wasn't totally staged.  I mean, it makes sense to drop your balls in a rapper's face unexpectedly, right?  Em was great, acting offended, but he and MTV were in on the whole thing.

Which means that, despite Bruno's balls being in Eminem's face, the entire stunt had no real balls to speak of. 

HOMO: Exactly.  Hell, even the big scene at the end with all the wrestlers going nuts over "a same sex kiss." Well, no.  It wasn't a kiss.  It was a full-on sex scene with a guy who wasn't that cute.  I was just as turned off by it as the so-called redneck haters.

HEMO: So, you think they were rioting because they found out they weren't starring in Bruno Sammartino?

HOMO:  I don't know. How cute is he?  Given how gay wrestling is -- big sweaty guys, doing S&M sex for pay -- I wouldn't want to miss that.

HEMO:  Here he is.

HOMO:  Never mind.

HEMO: So, how do you rate Bruno?

HOMO: Kinda funny, but not as gay, or as edgy, as the Republican Senate.

Steve's Pick:  If you want to see the scariest movie of the year, go see "The Hurt Locker."  It's only showing in parts of the country, but this is the movie that will have you on the edge of your seat, and should be nominated for best movie Oscar.

The Hemo2Homo Connection is Shawn Decker and Steve Schalchlin. Just two guys with AIDS who like to review movies. 

The creators/stars of the Hemo2Homo Connection met online in 1996, and posted their first movie review in 1998. Both have been living with HIV for over twenty years, and have annoyed their friends and loved ones for much longer than that. 

Steve Schalchlin ("Homo") resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker ("Hemo") lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is an HIV/AIDS educator and the author of My Pet Virus.

Yesterday 26 AIDS activists were arrested in DC for staging a protest in the Rotunda, chaining themselves together and chanting to the public and media about the importance for housing for people with AIDS and clean needle programs. 

Check it out.

In recent years, the US has sacrificed lives on the AIDS front due to moralizing in the face of facts.  Clean needles do save lives.  It's just that politicians are afraid of losing the votes of their non-injecting electorate, even if it means throwing lives under the bus.  I am thrilled to see positoids and negatoids taking a stand on this issue in our nation's capitol. 

Now, for those of us who weren't there, let's share the video and spread the word.

Positively Yours,

Shawn

The media onslaught continues in Charlottesville... Wednesday morning Gwenn and I went on 106.1 The Corner to speak with Brad Savage about HIV/AIDS, our story and the benefit this Saturday.  I was sooooo close to bringing Dab the AIDS Bear into the studio.


You can hear the interview by clicking on me and Dab.

The best part is at 1:00, when I get hung up on pronouncing "statistics" properly. Gwenn comes in for the assist, thankfully.  I hadn't had my coffee yet, that's my excuse.

I haven't looked forward to a show this much in quite some time.  Am sorry my friends in Bella Morte are going to be rocking in Stroudsburg, PA, the same night as the show.  Will miss seeing them and still remember how cool I thought it was of them when they agreed- without hesitation- to do an HIV/AIDS benefit right around the time I'd first moved to town.

It's been a lot of fun promoting this show.  Earlier tonight, I made another Synthetic Division video, this time specifically for people who have responded that they are "Maybe" going to attend the show on Saturday.  In this vid, I mention that "I wish I maybe had AIDS".

Hee hee hee.

Don't be a "maybe"! Alright, it's back to sleep with me. Positively Yours, Shawn

You might remember me and Dab the AIDS Bear having coffee together last month.  Since then, this little guy has been keeping Gwenn and I up all night playing Synthetic Division music.  It's getting out of hand- I'm not used to having music fans.  AIDS fans?  Easy.  But music fans are hard.

Especially ones that are stuffed and crazed.

Oh well.  Like everything else, I've decided to exploit his fandom and help the Dab the AIDS Bear Project at the same time.  At the show, I'll be selling Dab Bears.  But this is a special one-time edition, kind of like rare Barbie Dolls.  This is the "Obsessed With Synthpop" Dab the AIDS Bear- there's only 4, so if you are coming to the show and want to reserve one, just send me a message.  Of course, there are plenty of Dab the AIDS Bears looking for a good home here.

It's been great having so many people involved in making this show happen. Last Friday, I met with Chris from AIDS Services Group here in town, and he's going to be on hand with free condoms and information about HIV.  (I really hope to do a benefit for ASG soon!)  And another friend who works at MAC- a supporter of raising money for AIDS research- has offered to give free makeup touch-ups to people as a way of thanking them for supporting the cause. Very cool.

Ah, there's the music blasting again.  As much as I like to hear the tunes, I have to go tell the teddy bear to turn it off, it's after 2 a.m. and the neighbors are trying to sleep.

Positively Yours,
Shawn

So of course, I post a glorious blog last week about getting over my cough and it comes back about a day later.  Figures.  I got cocky and went to a smokey club to have fun with friends and spread the word about this Saturday's HIV benefit show with my band...

Which will be- of course- a smokey club.

I'm going to check in with my doctor and let him know what's happening so I'm not assuming this isn't treatable.  Because it's been over two weeks now, which is ridiculous evening by my standards of recovery.  Overall, I'm feeling a bit better again, but don't want to be coughing the night away needlessly if I don't have to. 

Tonight I had band practice with Synthetic Division- the set is really coming together.  After practice, Marshall the keyman and I lit a firecracker in drummer Mike's driveway, then went to WNRN's Subculture Shock radio show to talk about the event this weekend.  That's me and Silent Muse (who are also playing) band member Chad.  I was pretending to sing "We Are The World".


One of the best things about being in a band is making buttons.  This time around, my good buddies in Bella Morte donated the button-making facilities (thanks guys!).  I enlisted a graphic designer and one of my best friends, Josh, as well, and he sent along the button art below, which was so good I kind of lost my mind, as you can see.

Josh is a talented musician and played a Synthetic Division set with me last year when Gwenn and I went to Los Angeles. Right now, he's working on album artwork for Lauren Hoffman's Interplanetary Traveler, the subject of the last blog entry.  Josh is probably one of my favorite artists on Earth and it's nice that his artwork, and creative spirit, will be at the show.

As for others who can't be at the show, but would like to donate to the cause... Well. You can go to me and Gwenn's official fundraising page here. Also, any Decker's Daily coffee sponsorships of $5 from now until Saturday will go to benefit total this Saturday as well.

The best part about being sick for a week was writing.  I blogged every day last week!  So, really, if your reading this and wishing me well, you might have to decide whether your care for my well-being as a human trumps your love for my incredibly witty style of writing.



Which is on display in this month's issue of Poz!
 
I wrote a column called "Maybe Baby", about the oft-asked procreation question, specifically whether Gwenn and I are interested. And no, that's not our baby in the photo, but it is our Goddaughter, Evie. She's guest-starred on Decker's Daily many times, most notably in Episode 38 as my would-be assassin, after debuting a few days earlier in Episode 34.

Aside from me, she's logged the most Decker's Daily appearances.  Which is fitting, because when our good friend Lauren was pregnant with her, we spent most of the pregnancy in coffee shops.  When she was born, we were at the hospital, and have seen her explore babyhood and life on this planet for the last 9 months.

As for exploration of other planets, well...

Lauren just had a birthday, and as you've seen before, I have a knack for making cool YouTube cute baby vids.  My first work, When Babies Have Babies, feature my niece, Katelyn.  Then last Christmas, my second niece, Helayna, debuted in the sorta sequel, When Babies Save Christmas.

Inspired by those earlier works, I made this for Lauren, changing a Happy Birthday text to a plug for Lauren's music, which I love.  So, without further ado, here's Interplanetary Travelers, starring Evie and Lauren Hoffman.  Enjoy the ride!

Positively Yours,
Captain Shawn

Sunday I started feeling better, and it wasn't because I woke up feeling like a winner for picking a winner in Caressa Cameron for Miss Virginia, photographed here by the lovely and talented Julius Tolentino.  (Caitlin Uze, also in my pageant poster, finished at 2nd runner-up, respectively.)

I decided that after 8 full days of limiting my outdoors activity to a couple of iced mocha runs, I needed to just live my life.  I wasn't being rogue about it; I wasn't contagious, nor did I feel like being out would make me feel worse.  And the proactive plan worked. 

On Sunday I had band practice and made it through the entire 45-minute set-, and then on Monday I got some Sun at friend's pool and went to pool league where I almost won my match.

You're probably thinking, "Yeah, your health is back on track- great.  But what happened with your other prediction, that wrestling match involving your 2008 Person of the Year, The Miz?" 

Well, The Miz got flattened on Sunday at the wrestling pay per view in five minutes.  But on the USA Network the following night, he beat the hell out of John Cena for about 15 minutes before losing... it was awesome!  I know that the genius of my 2008 Person of the Year pick won't be universally accepted for many years, but the Miz is having a far better year than even I could have imagined.

As for the Weekend of RedempShawn big winner, Miss Virginia 2009 Caressa Cameron, positoids can rejoice- her platform issue is HIV/AIDS Awareness!  Pretty damn cool.  She and her mother have worked for quite a few years for the cause, and I hope to work with Caressa a lot in the next twelve months and beyond in our home state/commonwealth of Virginia.

All in all, I'm just happy to not be sick.  Even if I don't have a cool crown... at least not yet.

Positively Yours,
Shawn