I often wonder what goes through the minds of Aidsmeds forum members who come to this website questioning their hiv status. Do they envision Andy and Tim sitting on the other side of their computers, eagerly awaiting new posts? Or do they see people with busy lives and livings to make?

I often ask myself these questions when I read through the Fears of Forum. Time and time again I see people ask the same questions over and over, with slight variations and new “what ifs” in each new thread. I see Tim Horn and Moderator bust people who create new accounts in order to ask the same questions again and again. I see Andy’s head hit the desk again and again and again and again.

Phew!

Do some people actually think Peter, Tim and Andy, as well as all of the other dedicated educators, - you know who you are - don’t have lives?

Ask questions by all means. Education is what this site is about. Don’t put your smarts into thinking up novel ways of asking about a blowjob or hangnail or getting around the moderator, use them to actually read the lessons and listen to some of the top people in the HIV Education field.

Please show them, their knowledge and their time some respect!

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And by the way, what goes through my mind when I wander through the Land-of-Fear-of is “Wow, do people really think like that?” No wonder HIV is such a dirty little secret.

If a potential lover asks me if I’m “clean”, what the hell am I supposed to answer? Am I dirty? NO! That doesn’t mean I’m not going to disclose my positive status, but that little comment has just made my job that much harder.

Put yourself in the shoes of a positive person. How would you feel? Would you feel dirty by association through the question of cleanliness when you know “clean” means “disease free”?

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When they originally coined the phrase cleanliness is next to godliness they were talking about a clean conscience, a pure soul. The body isn’t the spirit.

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So the next time you don’t know your partner’s status, instead of asking that person if they’re “clean”, or thinking they look “clean” or they’re soooo nice or whatever, why not say:

“Let’s use condoms until we know each other better.”

Not only is it more respectful of another human being, but it is also respectful of you.