Write a Comment
31 Comments
Hi you! Even if you didn't update your interesting blog for a while, please inform your readers about the today 'World AIDS Day'. HIV/AIDS needs to be well-known to prevent new infections! So: let's talk about AIDS today!
Gosh Ann i'm sorry to hear that. (i wish i was more eloquent) ((((((hugs)))))) tendai
Life has a way of throwing us curves...which we don't see coming. Relationships are difficult even under the best of circumstances....You've have had some extraordinary challenges...and you've done so much for so many here on the forum....its no wonder you feel "empty". My heart goes out to you....take the time you need to recharge yourself. You deserve it sweetheart..... Sending you a big {{{HUG}}}
Ann, Distressing news, this. But you will rise up to the surface with new-found strength, this I know. In admiration, Loreen
Hey Ann Sorry to hear the sad development in your life. My first time to post on a blog, but your story touched a cord in me. Three years ago, I was engaged to be married to a man I thought was the best thing that God could have given me (outside of my son). He was with me in spirit, mind, body and soul (or so it seemed)... Two weeks before our wedding day, we went to have our tests, mine came back positive, his was negative. What a wake up call. The man that had adamantly stated he would give his life for me, just disappeared only to be replaced by a polite stranger that did not want to touch me in anyway. This was a man that is sophisticated was eductaed about how you can and cannot get get AIDS... Going through that ordeal, I needed so badly to be held just to know I was still valuable. Needeless to say we went our separate ways. When you used the analogy of scooping of your insides completely only to have a heart left over, but that too was a heart ached to badly (I wanted that removed too) I felt that way. I took a plunge, had no one to talk to, was in shock for more than two years and almost missed out on a love that accepted me totally. While am not trying to take the focus off of what you feeling and make this about me, I can truly say, you are blessed more than you realise because you have an outlet for all the pain you going through. You have people that love you as you are. And most of all you know who you are even without this loser in your life. So, cry if you must (I beleive if I had cried more the healing would have come sooner but I was busy putting on a front coz no one knew what I was going through) but never stop moving and doing good. To yourself and others. One day you will wake up and the pain will be gone. You will feel different and ask yourself why you feel like so, and it will hit you like a ton of bricks, the pain will be gone. You will be healed. Yes the memories linger but like you say you will have risen from the ashes, you will be back in an even better way. The memories only serve to make you stronger when you feel overwhelmed, if you look back at where you have come from, you will definitely know you are strong. Took me a long time to get here, but am glad that the pain left and joy and peace came back. With that came the man that I now call my husband. He is truly a freind through the good and the bad times. And to think I nearly chased him off because I kept looking back at what could have been... Be of good courage and know that it's not over until God says it's over.
Dear Anne (and Rick from earlier post): In the strength and the surrender that comes from 4 years of various health issues related to HIV (I have been HIV+ since 1993), I choose to believe today that life is wise. It helps me build with what I cannot control. I don't know why things happen as they do. God knows, I am a hard and smart worker. I know I have done my best at every stage of living. I am also a Scorpio and 45 this year. Life as it is, has turned me inside out. Building with what IS, this "turning" has been (I believe) purposeful for my development and for what I hope to give. I can honestly say today that I am closer today to being the Diamond than soft Carbon. Diamond via intense pressure. And, I would rather be the Diamond today. My life has been wise. I am new to this forum and...send you my love.
I am so angry with all I can't stand it.You've all deluded yourself-no one cares about anybody but themselves-especially men.That is why they leave you when you test positive-or soon after.At this point in my life I hate almost everyone(which I know is sad)but I take my meds everyday hoping my attitude will change.Therapists tell me to get involved with some charity-but it doesn't work.Help me,I don't know what to do.
Paul
Ann- I 'tripped' across your blog (well, not literally, but I did trip UP the stairs this morning). You are an inspiration to all of us who have trials and tribulations. The healing process is never easy, but sometimes we are our own harshest critic so i urge you to not be hard on yourself (something I am told often). I have alwys enjoyed the art of writing, and can tell by yours that you have a bright and beautiful soul. Run with that knowing you are OK in the here and now and whatever thefuture holds for any of us, it's always a lift to people (like me) to know there are others who exist like us. THANKS and peace to you. Paul
December 5, 2007