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If you don't want people asking for sex right away don't put "not looking for a relationship" on your description. That's code for sex. I've noticed there are a lot of women that get all huffy and puffy about people wanting sex from them, yet their profiles are excessively sexy, their boobs are showing, there are closeup photos of their faces with mascara and batting eyelashes, and then they get all pissed off that people are out to have sex with them. If you'd like, you can put "looking for friends". Though frankly I agree, if you're not looking for a relationship why bother with online dating? For your post-break up entertainment? Seems a little ridiculous to me, given how awful online dating is. And honestly I am tired of people saying they are "old school" like it's some sort of advertising line. Ok so you don't like to have sex on the first date. Fine. Some people have it on the first day, some on the second, some on the fifth, and some on the 500th. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having sex on the first day. I had a one night stand that turned into a two year relationship. That said, I would probably not have sex on the first day with an online date, not only because it seems totally unsafe, but to be frank online dating is just something I'm doing to entertain myself in my search of something else. I would be extremely shocked/surprised if I actually met someone in the warped internet world.
I bet Larry's one of those guys that's been on the site for centuries. I log in and look around. If no one meets my approval I deactivate acct. Some of the same shabby, lying guys have been members for years. I'm not setttling. settling. I don't even bother to post a photo. If you sound lame, you are lame.
You're so tight-The men have hidden agendas. Some are separate w/ children, but they don't tell you. Others have momma issues, and are angry with the world. Others lie , like thre's some trophy for lying waiting for them. All women should just leave the site, so the men can date one another. One guy asked, "No overweight females need apply?" Yet, his diction, grammar, diet, hygiene, photo wouldn't meet anyone's standards.
I'm sorry but I agree with Larry Greene. If you're not looking for a relationship then why are you bothering with this any way? What I don't like is "I usually just breeze past those or ignore them if they send me anything.". Here's a thought instead of ignoring someone why not simply tell them "thanks, but we're not a match." Otherwise you come off as being superficial and judgemental. You and anyone else that chooses to use this method to meet needs to realize that the Internet is a place where anyone can be anything. There are players, jaded exs, sex/drug addicts, the socially inept, and some who just need compliments fed to them. An HIV site isn't going to change that. Having said that, there are also folks who are faced with disclosure issues, or career concerns, etc. Believe it or not, there are some people that are not at the comfort level where you may be. They are really struggling with this and just need a source of support. They don't give a damn about what someone's picture is. If you choose not to dialog with them that's fine, but don't generalize the whole dating situation, or use it as another opportunity for male bashing.
Hi Michelle. How are you? II've been searching for you to send you a pm on POZ Personals but I can't find you.
Kellie Now let me get this right your on a dating site and you dont want a relationship--Why do you want to date then im here to find my man and i will find him one day and hiv is not a killer anymore and life goes on so quit whining and either deal with it or get off..im sorry but enough is enough.. love to all Larry
I haven't been on personals long and I don't have a photo. While I agree with most issues raised and indeed they have been common experiences. I noted that stating that a person is a widow/widower with kids or in Africa has been in some cases a sympathy attraction tactic. Let me just say that its most unfortunate since we are not meeting people in the traditional way where these details are shared face to face, so I kind of thought it was helpful to tell what my situation is like and my location in case it is or it is not what one is looking for. Maybe I am being naive but I think misplaced email addresses can also be as a result of being technologically challenged and not misinformation.
meg
Not to offend, but I notice a little hypocrisy. You cannot hear well. I sympathize with you. However, you look good. Your pictures look good. Some guy may like you just the way you are and may be perfect match for you, but he may not have a great picture to post. You will reject him. Then some guys who have been good looking who never encountered any difficulty in their life and hence have never built character will contact you. You will respond to them, but then realize that you have encountered creeps.
September 3, 2011