"Oh my God, I have, like, AIDS!"

Paris Hilton said it. She accidentally stepped in a puddle. And that was her response. Straight from the brain to the mouth. No filter.

Of course, everyone delighted in this. "She should worry about the puddles in her bedroom!" "What a bimbo!" "Paris sucks!" "I can really relate to her because she likes to shop."

But what has been ignored in all of this is how it has affected my beloved positoid community. We are in severe distress over her remarks, to the point where I believe a class action lawsuit against the Hilton chain may be in order... why? Because, if this is true and Paris does indeed have AIDS, then that means we– as positoids/people with HIV/AIDS– have something in common with her.

That is entirely unacceptable.

So on behalf of the AIDS community, I am demanding that Paris Hilton get an HIV test. Then, and only then, will a weary positoid nation be able to rest their tired heads.

Positively Yours,
Shawn